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  1. Briellewannabe

    I want to want to get better, but I don't know how. Should I just quit therapy?

    Things are difficult and it sucks. I'm not sleeping well, I'm having horrible nightmares and intrusive thoughts. The suicidal desires and the self-harming have also intensified. I've been seeing my therapist for 2.5 years now and she keeps saying she sees improvement, that I'm more aware and can...
  2. Briellewannabe

    Anyone else struggle with hating or blaming their abusers?

    The focus of my therapy is shifting and it is making me a little uncomfortable, though probably in a good way... though it doesn't feel like it. I have never hated or blamed the men who abused me. I don't in any way like them either. I was sexually abused by a neighbor from ages 4-6. I didn't...
  3. Briellewannabe

    In a bad place and don't know what to do.

    I have some very extreme suicidal thoughts right now but feel like I have no where to turn. Partly because I don't want help, but the other part is because I've run out of people to help. In times like this, when the thoughts are out of control, I've in the past called my therapist or a...
  4. Briellewannabe

    What's helpful and what's not to discuss in therapy (memories)?

    Hello everyone. First off, thanks for all the support I received on my last post. I took the consensus' advice and have continued to see my therapist. It's been going fairly well, surprisingly, though I feel like we're both not sure what to do now. That's what brings me here today. I don't...
  5. Briellewannabe

    Struggling with decision to continue therapy after involuntary commitment...

    Quick background: things have been quite rough lately. I started taking medications for depression/anxiety in May or so, and my meds have been switched up constantly since, for numerous reasons. Every time something's changed (dosage/drug) I seem to plummet and my suicidal desires get more...
  6. Briellewannabe

    Recently started dissociating - i feel like a kid again and terrified. please help.

    The past few months have been so crazy and hard. It started a couple months ago when my boyfriend read the Glass Castle on my recommendation--it reminds me of my childhood. We talked about it and then saw the movie together. I started thinking about my childhood a lot more and have become...
  7. Briellewannabe

    It keeps going downhill and i'm at a loss...

    I'm not really sure why but things have been getting progressively worse, especially over the past two weeks. A couple weeks ago I had a particularly bad night and my boyfriend at one point had to physically stop me from doing something. I was feeling so overwhelmed and like I needed to kill...
  8. Briellewannabe

    New to the medication world and my psychiatrist is difficult... any suggestions

    Hello, So after much prompting from my therapists, I finally saw a psychiatrist last week. I was super uncomfortable right off the bat as he was very pressing (I don't know another word for that) and seemed to push past any comfort that could have been there by being verbally encroaching. That...
  9. Briellewannabe

    Is it me or is it my therapist?

    I'm still relatively new to the therapy world, so I apologize if this is a dumb question. I've been seeing my therapist since August (with a 1.5 month break over Christmas break). She's an intern for a local counseling organization, which means she's still earning her credentials and is...
  10. Briellewannabe

    Better To Just Quit Therapy?

    I'm not sure therapy is for me. I really want it to be - I want to be the person who can understand what I'm feeling and thinking and share it if that'd help, but I'm not. I've answered more "I don't knows" in my 8 months of therapy than I ever have in my life. I feel bad for my therapists, who...
  11. Briellewannabe

    Really Rough Weekend - Don't Know What To Do

    I had a really rough time over the weekend. I made a plan, something I haven’t done in over 10 years, when I was a kid. My plan kept getting interrupted by roommates but I still found myself on top of the 6 story building… not nearly as drunk as I needed to be to make the jump. The alcohol...
  12. Briellewannabe

    Too Much Therapy/feeling Overwhelmed

    I started seeing my current T in August, seeing her once a week. She's very nice, but very new. She found another T to do EMDR with me probono, so I've been doing that for little over a month now. The EMDR T wants to see me twice a week, and I wouldn't be paying her - again, she's doing it for...
  13. Briellewannabe

    Considering Medication For Depression...

    After a really bad weekend and slight nudging from my therapist and boyfriend, I think I'm going to try medication to help deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts. Therapy alone has not been sufficient, and some days it gets really bad. I'm about to graduate with my B.A... I can't keep...
  14. Briellewannabe

    Being Depressed With Suicidal Thoughts - It's The Only World I've Known

    I think my greatest struggle is the depression and suicidal thoughts--the anxiety and bad memories or dreams I can deal with, and certainly they contribute to the depression, but they are not the root of it. I don't know what is. I don't know why I don't want to be here, why I never wanted to be...
  15. Briellewannabe

    Struggling With Doing/understanding Emdr In Sessions...

    I did my second EMDR session (after the taking the history session) today. I'm having a hard time visualizing/doing what the T is saying. Like, the first time she wanted to work on the old rules I used to live by (long story), but she had me imagine I was in a bubble outside of time, and I was...
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