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  1. frogthroat

    The Challenges of Changing Core Beliefs

    This is a great idea! I'm terrible with routines and I never follow through. You explained that well. That's something I can actually do. I've never heard of this but this is also a great idea. Instead of trying to do everything I need to do I just need to start doing things again. Thank you...
  2. frogthroat

    The Challenges of Changing Core Beliefs

    I'm sure there are other discussions on this but I want to talk about my personal situation. Recently, I've been accepting that my view of reality is warped. Even though everything isn't sunshine and rainbows it isn't a portrait of absolute depravity either. I've gotten myself into such a pickle...
  3. frogthroat

    DID DID and Denial

    This is so true. I tried to look up more information on DID on youtube and it was just a bunch of 13 to 20 year old pretending to become Goku or something. It was very frustrating. A Google search faired better and I already have links to a website from someone on this forum. I wrote about the...
  4. frogthroat

    DID DID and Denial

    I've asked about BPD. I was sure that was what it was at first. The thing is I've isolated myself. I don't have toxic relationships because I don't have them. I also don't fear abandonment to the point of obsessively clinging to someone. I expect abandonment. I can go days without talking to...
  5. frogthroat

    DID DID and Denial

    Did anyone go through a period where they flat out denied they had DID even though their therapist was sure about it and talked about it in multiple sessions? I had quite the experience recently and now my t wants to talk about it. I told him I don't believe in it and I must need attention...
  6. frogthroat

    Canadian Right to Die Available for International Patients?

    You don't think about any of this when you're in pain yourself. It's dystopian. There's so many people society doesn't want. I looked up statistics when I felt more lucid and you're correct. Weemie, if you interact with me for any period of time you'll find that my mood swings are huge and...
  7. frogthroat

    Canadian Right to Die Available for International Patients?

    I just got out of an IOP and I see a trauma therapist and a general therapist once a week. I just realized I'm having a flashback and I'm dysregulated. I'm still in contact with one of my abusers and I'm just learning I get overwhelmed by pain when I see them but I just can't cut them out. I...
  8. frogthroat

    Canadian Right to Die Available for International Patients?

    There is no getting better for me. My mental illness is chronic. I have no quality of life and I just want to be able to die with dignity. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. This isn't a cry for help or attention. I'm in my thirties and I don't want to live out my natural life in...
  9. frogthroat

    Canadian Right to Die Available for International Patients?

    I just looked more and it's not available for psychiatric patients until 2023 and you have to be a Canadian citizen so this post was an oops. I should've researched more before I wrote this.
  10. frogthroat

    Canadian Right to Die Available for International Patients?

    I just learned that in 2021 Canada passed a law that allowed people with chronic mental health disorders to choose death by euthanasia. Is it possible for people from other countries to go there to receive this service? I'm wondering if it's for Canadian citizens only. It's still illegal in the...
  11. frogthroat

    Other Let's talk about dehumanization.

    Are you coming back and reading this thread obsessively? 🧐🧐🧐🤨 It was really helpful but also pretty distressing. It's great to know there's other people to relate to. It's also soul crushing. I know when I get stuck I obsess over why I feel like I'm stuck. Dehumanization is definitely one of...
  12. frogthroat

    Other Let's talk about dehumanization.

    I'm 34 and I realize that help for mental health has only really started to make strides in the last 10 years. I sort of stumbled into the trauma therapist I have now and so I've agreed to just recently try different forms of help. I can't tell you if I'm going to be able to change my mindset...
  13. frogthroat

    Other Let's talk about dehumanization.

    I know I don't have to tell you that's how sadists work. I knew he was a sadist but knowing that didn't change how much damage it did. I would try to egg mine on to kill me. I'll never know if it made the torture worse or not. I can tell you as a person who's isolated themselves as much as...
  14. frogthroat

    Other Let's talk about dehumanization.

    Mine too. Logically you know it was a tactic to further dehumanize you. I feel guilty as an adult for not just choosing the death I was threatened with but children in that situation don't think about that. I struggle with whether or not I deserve to be happy.
  15. frogthroat

    Other Let's talk about dehumanization.

    I was just relaying what my therapist told me. I feel similar about the whole community thing. I will never feel part of a community because I know the depths of human cruelty just as everyone else in this thread does. I don't even identify with the gay community even though I'm queer and gender...
  16. frogthroat

    Other Let's talk about dehumanization.

    I've really been wondering about this concept in my own situation. What the hell does it even mean? How can you be corrupted when the concepts involving supposed human morality really don't exist? In my experience morality is always hypocritical and people use it to manipulate situations in...
  17. frogthroat

    Other Let's talk about dehumanization.

    I have never gotten over dehumanization. I'm only addressing it now. I was told by my trauma therapist that only way you start to overcome that is by forming intimate connections with others, feeling like you're part of a community, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable when you feel safe. 🙄...
  18. frogthroat

    Relationship Q For Sufferers : How someone with ptsd feels when they push away the person they love most?

    I don't usually reply to threads anymore and I've never had a relationship. People are too much for me and I've chosen to be a hermit. Take this as you will. It sounds like he's testing you to see if you'll still love him but also he's trying to decide if he wants to leave you before you leave...
  19. frogthroat

    Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

    Hey, I've been going through my own shit but I seriously think of you at some point everyday. I always hope you're okay and that you finally have the resources you need. If you've moved on from posting on this forum I understand. If you drop in every so often can you at least let us know you're...
  20. frogthroat

    Does this sound like anxiety or mania?

    Wow. @Friday this the pattern I've been stuck in for literal years. I couldn't describe it any better. You're right about the depression once it hits it takes forever to pull myself out of it. Sometimes I think I subconsciously keep myself stressed just so I can "outrun" the depression. I have...
  21. frogthroat

    Does this sound like anxiety or mania?

    Thanks for your reply. I'm trying to figure out how to describe it to a psychiatrist without them automatically assuming it's bipolar.
  22. frogthroat

    Does this sound like anxiety or mania?

    This is more what it sounds like. There's nothing about it that feels good even leading up to the meltdown. I don't feel more confident or like I have tons of energy. I wish I had that. It feels like I have to get away from something but Idk what. Maybe it's not something I should worry about...
  23. frogthroat

    Does this sound like anxiety or mania?

    Yes, that's correct. It felt like I had to desperately escape right now for no reason.
  24. frogthroat

    Does this sound like anxiety or mania?

    That's hard to say. I thought the last 2 times came out of nowhere but this time I've been having trouble sleeping and having bad anxiety for a couple weeks.
  25. frogthroat

    Does this sound like anxiety or mania?

    This is embarrassing for me to write about. I'm in-between my last job and starting my new one and I've been having anxiety issues but tonight I feel like I'm on the verge of having an episode. I've had a couple of these meltdowns in the past couple years. The first one I had what felt like a...
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