The Troop by Nick Cutter. A book I will only ever read once and the only one where I ever had to flat out stop to take a break because it was too horrific and f*cked up. 10/10 if you want to read some harrowing shit, but like, I kinda wanna tell people not to read it at the same time lol.
It's...
@Freida I haven't read the rest of the thread, just your initial post - but IMO it's just a side-effect of us not processing the memories correctly when/after it happened. With reprocessing comes loss of self-blame - and it's hard as hell and takes a lot of time, but I guess one thing at a time...
One problem with that for me is I am much more proficient with firearms than I am with knives and baseball bats. I'm also physically weak, and I'd do much more damage with a gun (which is true for everyone but even more for those who are not adept at other forms of defense). Plus, most people...
@blackemerald1 I wanna clear up some stuff haha.
I found out my cameras were malfunctioning due to the cold temperatures - only today did it warm up enough to make them work again. The electronics were too cold I guess, I have no idea why exactly the cold stopped them from working lol.
When...
I got startled by a slam sound on the side of my house, like an hour ago. Hard slam sound, like someone hit the side of my house with all their might. Startled the shit out of me. It also didn't trip my outdoor cameras sensors, so that freaked me out more. I'm the only one in the house too...
So, some of the traumatic events I experienced involved guns. Because of that I had two problems: I wasn't able to look at guns at all, and I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of defending myself with firearms anymore.
But - before my trauma, I was very into guns, I had already owned many...
I'm happy to see someone else say that - it really does feel like a miracle drug when it peels away hard dissociation.
I still have some laying around, and could easily get another prescription, but hopefully I won't need them :D
Naltrexone let me get to a point where I could actually do...
This question has been on my mind for a long time.
I really wonder how I would handle different traumatic events now that I have done a lot of reprocessing on my past traumas. I imagine everyone is different, and of course every single event and circumstance is different, but regardless I am...
When you have a memory pop up that is so bad you actually WANT to go back to thinking about the memories with the knives and guns and blood and injury and violence.
For me, high level safety feels like this:
I am completely relaxed. I do not have a single shred of anxiety. I dont have a single worry on my mind. I feel content, maybe even happy. It's like, nothing is going to hurt me, and I'm not even imagining the possibility at that time that I feel super...
Most of the benzo users/abusers I have known who have quit and sought medical help with the withdrawal, generally said most docs are clueless about benzo withdrawal. It's sad cause it can be very severe, give you seizures, and potentially kill you, depending on multiple factors.
Theres...
Here's my first world problem: my windows are being replaced with really nice new ones, which look great, have amazing sound blocking, and theres no more breeze in my house (at least the floor with new windows lol). The old windows are from 1977, and I live in Alaska so that should give you some...
I haven't barfed in a therapist's office before but I often get super nauseous while anxious. That said I tend not to eat anything before sessions, so hopefully if it ever happens I wont have much of anything to vomit.
I probably would have barfed before having an invasive kind of ultrasound...
I feel the same way, but I also feel uncomfortable not being near an exit, or having a clear way to get the f*ck out. It feels like a balance between not having people behind or around me, and not being blocked from an exit by people.
Now that I think about the needing-a-way-out thing, there...
Same deal here, cant stand it.
It was pretty bad when I had a mole biopsied off my back. Both having someone behind me and having them touch me.
I also hate it when people stand too close in lines, some people dont give a f*ck about personal space lol.
Kinda funny - I just started brainspotting and one of my first thoughts when it started was "holy shit am I just gonna stare at that pointer and not say shit the whole session???"
Yep, pretty much. It worked though lol.
Well, it depends on when. I used to get so anxious, that I was on the verge of passing out and throwing up, if I tried carrying. Yet at the same time, I felt very vulnerable not having a gun, so yeah, more anxious depending on the situation, and my thoughts.
Now it has been a while, and I've...
I'm just recommending the drug I tried. The exclamation point was out of enthusiasm, not in a condemning-narcan way.
I brought up narcan with my pdoc and she suggested naltrexone instead, and it worked. Kinda funny - the day I came in wanting to talk about trying narcan, she was already...
@bellbird I'm glad to see people talking about opioid receptor antagonists for dissociation - if you wanna try one, ask your doc if you can try naltrexone!
Takes like 2-7 days to figure out if it works for you, in my experience. On the first day I already felt a noticeable decrease in...
My pdoc had me on naltrexone for dissociation, mainly dr/dp.
It worked wonders for me! Miracle drug tier.
I was on 12.5mg at first, then 25, then 50, then 25 again. Every few weeks I needed to take a 2-4 day break for it to regain it's normal efficacy.
Naltrexone is another opioid antagonist...
I dissociate in any kind of genital exam, and also require xanax. That's totally natural for someone with sexual assault in their trauma history, you're not alone in that. I empathize a lot with your situation.
I agree with what the others said about going to a doc first and getting their...
@WillyKat - thinking back on it, it was very grounding, kept me very in the present.
Also there is plenty of stimulation to the senses. Sight, sound, feel (recoil is pretty grounding haha), even smell (which I find pleasant lmao), and there are a lot of things to focus on. Reloading magazines...