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    Ams' Diary

    I have an old diary at: Link Removed but here's an update... I'm happily living in an apartment with my daughter. Her father moved to Atlanta. He isn't pay child support but recently paid a lump sum to cover all the owed amount because they took his license away. And now he's back to not...
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    Who Would Have Thought Having A Baby Would "fix" My Ptsd

    So, I've been pretty terrible about logging into this - and I think that may be a good thing. I log in when I'm being triggered and I am happy to say it's been a while since that has happened. I welcomed my daughter into the world on January 7th and since then, I have worked my way up to being a...
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    Can't Find A Therapist/counselor

    I did free short-term (10 weeks) therapy at one trauma center, then a couple months later I did free short term (16) weeks at another trauma center, and I COULD do another 10 weeks at a third location but I need long term, not short term. And I haven't seen a therapist in a very long time but I...
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    Sexual Assault Night Terrors/ Sleepwalking

    I'm no stranger to sleep issues. I've been sleepwalking since I was a kid, and normally kids grow out of it but I didn't. I also have been sleep talking since I was a kid, and have had nightmares my entire life.I think the first time I noticed the night terrors was a few years back after the...
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    Ptsd Vs. Rts Vs. Rr-ptsd

    I emailed one of my professors about the differences between Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, Rape Trauma Syndrome, and Rape-Related Post-traumatic stress disorder. I thought you guys might be interested to know his response. I know a few of us (at least) were unsure if we belong on this site vs...
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    Volunteering As A Form Of Therapy

    Has anyone done this? My counselor suggested I try it, back when I saw her over a year ago. I'm thinking about it now! It just sort of fell into my lap, though. My college had a rape on campus a week ago, and I didn't know until I heard it from a student in my class. My classes all let out at...
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    Sexual Assault Halloween

    I'm not sure if this is the right category....apologies if it isn't. It's this time of year again, which means I'm all on edge and have that rape on my mind 24/7. Everything is a reminder, since it happened on halloween. I think I managed to make myself sick, too. Been sick the past two weeks...
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    New Member Ams

    Hello. My name is Amy. I've been thinking for a while about doing something to address the sexual assault stuff, not just ptsd, which is what lead me here. Let's see how this goes before I decide on going back to therapy :) Thanks for having me.
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    Is Anyone Awake Right Now

    I just got home from a date that went decent enough, but now I'm having issues and really need to talk or something if anyone is awake? -Ams
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    Body Remembering Anniversaries

    I know the psychological aspect of getting more edgy and stuff around the anniversary, but is it possible and probable for your body or unconscious to remember. I'm asking because lately (past week or two) I've been more on edge and moody, irritable, not talking to many people, and dissociating...
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    Avoidance

    I've been avoiding thinking about.... everything. The PTSD, the rapes, the people, everything. In fact, I get visibly upset if I'm reminded of it. I ended therapy in March/April and haven't picked it up since, and have been avoiding everything since. I figured I should be moving on by now and...
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    Anyone Awake? Having A Rough Night

    So it's 2:22am and I've been having flashbacks all night. No one is up to talk to though. I'm just having a rough time, I guess. I went to the park tonight with a friend and was on edge the whole time because I left my pepper spray elsewhere, and I felt vulnerable. Then later, when with my...
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    Vicodin, Lumbar Pain, MRI, Medical Insurance, Dissociation And Frustration!

    So I've been having back pain a long time, and it's been significantly worse since a car accident in 2008. I've been taking vicodin(5/500) since January 2009, and it seems to be the only thing that helps (aside from 4 extra-strength tylenol which is way overdosing). My doc is being a pain in the...
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    Night Terrors/Panic Attacks Last Night

    Last night was..well, interesting. I fell asleep around 1:30, then was up around 2am sweating like crazy and feeling really panicked, and hyperventilating. I went to the bathroom and washed my face and neck and took some deep breaths, then went back to bed. Woke up again several other times...
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    Needing Help Picking A Therapy Type

    So, my therapy at a rape treatment center is coming to an end next week. My last session is next Wednesday and I feel like I still need to see a therapist, because it's helping me. My problem is, I don't know if I should get into a therapy program for PTSD, or a therapy program for rape. So, do...
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    Tv show triggers

    Does anyone here have a hard time watching TV shows because of the content in it? I love 24, and I still watch it, but it's really hard not to spiral into a dissociative state when I'm watching some episodes. A few in the beginning of season 1 keep touching on rape, and the new season (8) has a...
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    Audio Triggers

    So, when I was raped the first time, the guy said a lot of stuff during. Since then, the stuff he said has stayed with me and if I hear someone say anything remotely similar to what he said, I get flashbacks or I zone out and get stuck in a bad memory or something. If I hear someone who has the...
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    What Gives You Purpose?

    Sometimes I feel like I don't have much going on in life, and having PTSD means I need to find stuff to do to keep busy. I start thinking too much and I sink into this depression. Keeping busy helps me a lot. I've been pretty involved with some organizations that support those who struggle with...
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    Irritated By People Who Compare Your Trauma To Their Own Problems

    Do any of you guys get irritated when you're confiding in someone about a really bad experience, and they compare it to one of their own bad experiences? Instead of just listening to you and offering support or JUST an ear, they immediately talk about their own bad experience, that is not...
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    Issues With New Relationships And Intimacy

    Lately I've been seeing a new guy. I get nervous with new "relationships" because I always seem to bail before it gets serious. I'm comfortable being single. I don't think I'm worth it to anyone to want to put up with me. Like, people who've known me before & after my traumas would understand...
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    Starting To Hate Sleeping

    I'm always exhausted. It's hard to even wind down enough to get to sleep. Then when I do, I completely knock out. Example: last night I was on the phone with my friend and asked him to call my landline. It took him less than 2 minutes to call it, but I had already passed out within that time...
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    Physical Pains Maybe Somatic?

    Usually I hear about how psychological problems manifest in the body. Like you get physical pain for no reason, because you've got psychological issues. So I've been having pelvic pains since june, and the doctors can't figure out why. I've been thinking about the chance that they are somatic...
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    New Here - Reaching Out To Say Hi

    Hello. I'm Amy. New here. I've browsed several different sites about ptsd stuff, so I honestly don't remember if I've been here before, but I don't think I have. Obviously the memory is a huge problem. I see a therapist at UCLA's RTC department for treatment, but aside from one of my friends who...
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