everything sucks
everything's shit
dissapointment
bad mood
foul mood
irritable
cranky
grumpy
impossible to please
agitated
impatient
critical
self-critical
negative
unmotivated
monotonous
sleeping too much
sluggish
grey
it's like rainy weather
feeling like it's never going to end
wanting to be...
Thank you 💜
I'm adding some more too...
like a curse
pessimistic
sad
no place feels like home
unfixable
out of place
don't belong
self-doubt
emptiness
feeling nothing
expecting the worst
a constant premonition that something bad will happen
seeing pain and suffering everywhere
lost
loser...
I think I'd have felt more comfortable talking to a trusted aunt than my own parents about it at that age.
I have a niece too and I found books about the topic suuuuper helpful. There's some brilliantly written books about it, these days - just the right tone/ amount of information/ ways of...
I've written before how I'm in a major depression for the first time in my life... I've had C-PTSD for as long as I can remember and depression's been a part of that... but I feel like in the past, I've only ever dipped my toes in and now... I'm drowning in it.
I feel like I'm in some kind of...
So, I have a job that's probably going to be made 100% redundant within the next 5 - 10 years.
I specifically got 3 years of education/ training in this job at the end of my 20s because it was disability-compatible... Work that I could do from home, self-employed, part-time, on a contract by...
Making some progress with this... Cortisone helped get rid of the tendonitis issue, thankfully.
Had a physio appt yesterday especially for my shoulder and neck issue and it really helped. He did those chiropracticer "moves" where they crunch your bones back into place... Yikes... It did help a...
I've been making good progress with this Function Meter thing... I've adapted it a few times over the past 2 weeks, shifting things around, throwing out what doesn't work, adding in things I'd forgotten or missed...
I've really adjusted it to my individual situation and I think it's turned into...
I had this discussion with T at my last appt again... We talked about having visitors to my home and I was saying I never feel comfortable with it. Sometimes I'll make the choice to invite someone anyway, cos can't always do what is most PTSD compatible.
But if PTSD had its way, then I'd only...
Hey @beaneeboo
Sorry you're having a therapy "hangover"... I guess it was to be expected, right?
It seems to me that how strongly you are dissociating = how deeply this is affecting you. And that's completely valid.
I'm getting the impression that you're able to see it as an issue that's...
Ohhhh... I just realised that I also took some cortisone yesterday, for my tendonitis... And cortisone makes me unable to sleep too... So it could've been either the cortisone, the escitalopram, or a combination of both... Hmm...
Meh... the sleep deprivation has really kicked in now and I feel like total shit... Not happy with this result. I've just emailed the pdoc basically saying "THIS IS NO GOOD - WHAT DO I DO".
If this is a temporary side-effect during the adjustment phase then I want a heavy-duty sleep medication...
It seems there's new research by neuroscientist Lisa Mosconi about how the brain fundamentally changes during menopause...
Sigh... yes, it certainly feels that way...
https://www.amazon.com/Menopause-Brain-Transition-Knowledge-Confidence/dp/0593541243
So, I currently have 2 pdocs... sort of... I have the one that replaced my previous, long-term and much beloved pdoc in the city 2 hours drive away where I used to live. All my records are in that Dr's office and the replacement guy is nice enough. A few months ago, with his consent I also found...
I can understand the sense of embarrassment - because I'd feel the same or have felt the same, in similar situations.
I'd really try and view it as this tho:
I mean, you could start a thread specifically about this hypervigilance "protective" behaviour in the supporter's section and ask if...
Oh wow, I'm glad you've found something that resonates, that's great!
I had a friend help me on the weekend - he has undiagnosed and untreated C-PTSD - and he does this "hypervigilance" thing of pointing out all the potential pitfalls, problems, negatives, issues, concerns too.
And while, like...
I don't know if this is helpful or not... I eat a "keto" diet... amongst other things because it really stops the "carb cravings". You don't even have to cut carbs as radically as in a keto diet... Just cutting them wayyyy, waaaayyyy down really helps to stop the "carb hunger" and to get back to...
Also, I forgot to add that hypervigilance (averting danger) can make us spot (and point out) potential "issues" to people. It may be meant in a caring/ protective way, but may come across as belitteling/ viewing the other person as incapable. Again, this is not just (potentially) true of you...
Hi... I think that in a "normal" adult, non-PTSD setting, without any attachment trauma, it's pretty good advice.
If it's (weirdly, imo incorrectly) applied to children growing up in traumatic circumstances, then it's wrong/ bad advice.
Children need to receive love first, imo.
So... then...
Hmnm, so we all have a big range of different characteristics, traits and behaviours, including postive/ negative ones, and what one person finds positive, another will find negative and vice-versa.
I can be kind of bossy, myself. (Not saying that you are, but if you were, you'd be in good...
I've been a bit back-and-forth with this over the last week.
Initially I did more exercise (nothing crazy like suddenly going jogging when you're not adapted to it...). Basically just yoga, exercises from the physio, taking the dog for walks or bike rides...
My muscles were really sore the...
So far, I've found some EMDR sessions to be intense and stuff resolves really quickly... whereas other sessions it feels like maybe it's not working that day, or not much is happening. I'm not sure what that's about. Maybe some days my brain is more receptive, or maybe some topics are easier for...
Yes, totally - tho reading it summed up like this made me laugh cos... yeah, PTSD right? If I was seeing my T to talk about a rupture like @beaneeboo is, I'd be doing all the anxiety/pre-planning stuff too... As a form of hypervigilance, trying to "control" the outcome (cos control is better...
I'd say that in a healthy conversation about solving a problem, both you and the other person should be doing 50% of the heavy lifting.
So how about letting T do his half of the heavy lifting and not "pre-planning" all of that? Allow the course of the conversation and the place the two of you...