The therapist had an emergency, shes gone. I wanted to email her.
I was back somewhere else, and one of my body parts that were hurt from back that time, were hurting as I was suddenly bombarded, remembering what happened...so sore I couldn't move, all I could do is lay there and cry.
I...
I ate waffles..and procrastinated my three page paper which was supposed to be done a million years ago?
---I shouldn't feel as good about those things as I actually do lol
Deb, I appreciate the response. I never thought of researching the ones in my area. That's not a bad idea. That way I would know, just to ease my curiosity/fears.
A plan is a cool idea, just so it becomes less of a phobia.
Thanks :) I appreciate this post
<Edited - removed unnecessary...
I saw a documentary once about a psychiatric hospital, and if I was depressed, that probably depressed me even more. I guess my fear of psych wards is the medication part, that I feel like its just all about meds all the time.
I worry about them just shoving meds down your throat and labelling...
Thank you so much, for relating to me.
Sometimes I have a hard time reaching out to my T, because
1) I feel like after being in this way of life since age 5, it seems so painful to try to feel good just for 50 minutes a week with someone who cant help me outside, when I'm really alone. It...
I wish I had advice. I am very gullible and apart from being gullible I am very obedient. I tend to act like a child, and if people ask me to do something I do it because im scared of getting in trouble..
Its really annoying, and puts me in positions of revictimization very very often...
Im in university too, its hard especially with flashbacks. Do u see anybody? I see a therapist at my college..she works there and its wonderful , it makes all the difference to have support somewhere.
Im sending lots of hugs and encouragement.
Sometimes I get an intrusive thought. If its a short one (a short memory), or like an external sound that reminds me of something suddenly (and for about 2 seconds) my eyes will roll to the back of my head, and I might cringe a little, or twitch and then the memory goes away. (I must look like a...
I don't even know.
I've had flashback after flashback, and I'm so tired.
I don't want to be in a good mood. I just want to be numb. I'm tired of pasting on a smiley face.
In my house its like a sin to be in a bad mood. It means punishment for me.
I feel like I'm in flashback, all the...
Thank you for all your responses.
I find it interesting that you say that only part of the brain believes it. I guess that's the difference of when I'm having a flashback at T. I "know" its not really happening, somewhere in my brain.
I'm thinking of talking to my T about how hard it is in...
My T said it sounded, from what I was describing in my symptoms to her, that I was having emotional flashbacks.
These are all day. The triggers can be anything.
How can I function :( It's so hard.
I had a flashback in her office during T, and she brought me back and then said "see you next...
haha omg. Sometimes I get that swallowing thing, I don't get anxiety with it much until I realize something stuck in my throat.. (happens a lot actually.) I've choked somewhat several times, its scary.
I kinda get what you're saying..I often feel detached though, like I'm walking and my eyes...
ah. exactly.. I have a hard time getting out of it too..Im stuck in that mode all day
Thanks for replying
<edited to remove quote: no need to quote entire post, especially when post is immediately above your post>
I know :( how this feels...I usually repress it a lot, but it is really healthy to let it out. If you spend 15 minutes or a whole hour crying, its because you need to....and you need not apologize
You will stop, at some point. The pain can feel overwhelming and unbearable..but your T can help...
Your very welcome. Its hard to deal with this. Im wondering, If I may ask...do u ever find this happens at times when your not really that triggered? ..Well actually it usually happens ..when im getting stressed out ...Im a college student, and while I was in class today, I raised my hand to...
You described it almost.....well pretty much exactly how I experience dissociation. EXACTLY. The first time I really dissociated, the FIRST thing I felt was the ground just...rippling ilke water underneath me...and I felt like there was just nothingness and numbness....like I was trapped in a...
Today..was a really hard day...I had a very very hard T session filled with dissociation..she didnt even notice and I was too scared to tell her. When I left the office all dazed and confused...something happened to me
Lets see if I can explain.
That certain time of day, made it *feel* like I...
*BEFORE you keep reading, this might be triggering*
(sorry if i posted this in the wrong forum)
I was on the bus today, and I mentioned in my last post, I disclosed that there was (SA)in my past for the first time at T last week, honestly. I havent spoken openly about it since I had to report it...