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    Always Shadowing Me That I Deserve This

    Thank you to the above!! Blondie... so sorry. I can only imagine the way you are feeling. I have always said, when we mourn, it is evidence that we were truly loved and that is bitter sweet... for yes, rather to be loved...yada yada but it just sucks doesn't it? I will be praying and sending...
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    All The Different Kinds Of Flashback

    It makes sense when you think of it.... something we may likely care about more than ourselves or something that we are extremely protective about, can be a protection for us as well.... somewhat comforting! I do not know that it is fool proof, but for me, so far, I stay present or am brought...
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    Always Shadowing Me That I Deserve This

    As much as my logical mind wants to over ride the feelings I get about deserving the bad, here I am. I am thinking how, the decline of my health, the latest of flashbacks, the lack of energy or will keeps nagging my head... you deserve this. You bring this to you. You always have. When... when...
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    Starting To Build More Walls

    Are you going over new ground and staying closed up? Or are you finding you are more hardened to the things you say?
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    When You Don't Think Your Therapist "Gets It"

    Know how you feel. I had/have a wonderful therapist but since my fatigue and heart issues, no way to really get to her. Am considering a phone call therapy session but it just isn't the same. I also can go to the Crime victim Center and have free counseling in the interim but how do you start...
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    I Can Almost Not Belive How Far I Have Come

    I echo the above,,, so good to hear some good things!!! That one day it's much brighter!! Thank you fro sharing your journey!!! : )
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    Hoping For Solid Direction On My Health

    Well.. did post in Therapy about my horse therapy!! Was amazing. So go check that out! I went to a rheumatologist and am now slated for an MRI and extra autoimmune disease bloodwork. If they show clear, then I go in for the provocative Catheterization of my heart and go from there. Day at a...
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    Migraines Help Please

    yep... ice on forehead or sometimes behind my neck. A friend of mine used to put a baseball hat on really tight for a while then release it?? She swore by it. I think it was just so tight that then when she took it off the blood flow rushed in and felt better for a while. I usually get the auras...
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    Not Just Horse Therapy

    Hello. I have been taking a break from the heaviest of things... or so I thought. My group at the Crime Victims Council formed the first Equine Therapy. We meet once a week and groom horses and work with them on trust issues, hear stories about them and get to know how they react and how they...
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    Afraid To Reveal My Fears

    Yep... Get It! I sympathize. I am currently facing heart health issues and have on purpose not wanted to "go there" for fear it will all come tumbling down as if I am making my condition? I know I don't have that power really but you wonder... Now you are trying to deal with it, but are...
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    Hoping For Solid Direction On My Health

    Thank you... and THANK YOU for reminding me seedling about the broken heart syndrome too!!! I wanted to bring that up on a women's heart site and keep forgetting (as i think I am on to the right diagnosis) but I still want to ask about it!!! I do think it seems that is a more timely thing when...
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    Hoping For Solid Direction On My Health

    Hello all! I haven't been posting much lately but I have been popping in and reading when I can. My fatigue has been horrible and I am hoping my struggles with health issues will be heading in some direction after my follow up with my cardiologist this week. I have been dealing with this more...
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    Psyche And The Immune System

    Good old nature vs nurture arguments! I have seen with even my own children how some of their personality and ways of dealing appear quite built-in from day one, but they also are heightened or lessened by environment. Throw into that things we then experience at such various degrees... and...
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    Speak - The Movie. Awful Night.

    Sounds like a step to desensitizing (although it is an odd word we use... seems to take forever doesn't it? I used to think it a positive word. Not so much when you are in it.) I know that some things I happened across on TV jumped on me and flew me right into my own flashbacks, but then again...
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    Psyche And The Immune System

    I agree there are aspects I can swallow and others that seem conjecture, not fact. It is quite interesting though that what makes familiar sense to me (my personal experiences with some sort of energy undefinable), is that I do think energy goes on. If there is a soul and it continues in another...
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    First Day Out In Over 2 Years

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
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    First Day Out In Over 2 Years

    So glad you had this... I think we all dream and work towards a nice quiet place or whatever "peace" means to us and if moving there will help make that happen, I wish you the best to get there!!! So happy to hear of the good times and thoughts of a good future. Pulling for ya! : )
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    Trouble Believing I Deserve Things

    So difficult to receive.... its just uncomfortable. Especially a compliment. Guilt and circumstances associated with it make me uneasy. AND I know it... so hard to switch that! Hope to get better with it. Rewiring is tough. My T is always saying.... what would you say to your best friend...
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    Psyche And The Immune System

    yes James... agree on the tone being Eastern and Jungian! I have been doing a lot of soul searching work. Reading lots of Thomas Moore. Going to research it further. Hoping others have thoughts or come across similar discussions. Some may not believe in soul aspects and how that is different...
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    Psyche And The Immune System

    I don't know.... been having such difficult health issues and they are perplexing... (see "Is A Broken Heart Real" in this section). I also have heard of another theory... now be careful cuz this is written as truth. I haven't found something just yet to support it, it is news to me but here...
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    Can You Pray?

    I did think about the footprints analogy too in your post! It is so different for us all how we seek something of a spiritual or soulful nature. I found my praying has changed. It is more a constant discussion of me wondering and asking and thinking and then listening. It is less constructed...
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    Health And Possible Wrong Diagnosis With Trauma: Could A Broken Heart Be Real?

    Not that the idea is new and yes, of course there are impulses... the recent study delved further into a separate intelligence connected to it. Didn't say that distinctly before, sorry. Sounded interesting.
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    Health And Possible Wrong Diagnosis With Trauma: Could A Broken Heart Be Real?

    Yep Junebug, know what you mean... but I KNEW this was a different tired than fatigue from lack of sleep and such! It is sooo unavoidable. Literally shuts me down and I don't do that! I will Pm you bout links and such!! not happy you are feeling this way too but an odd comfort to hear another...
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    Health And Possible Wrong Diagnosis With Trauma: Could A Broken Heart Be Real?

    Here is my conundrum.... I struggle to tell regular medical docs about my CPTSD. Even my T says tread lightly! Docs, when it is a difficult read on what's wrong are quick to jump to psyche as the whole shebang... whole reason for all that ails you. I am not disagreeing it has its affects...
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