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  1. M

    Developing Online Friendships/What Are Some Do's & Don'ts?

    Ok, I'll try this again. Starhawk, would love to get to know you better and develop a friendship. When I get my PM previledge back I'll PM you with my email. T, You doll you, I'm praying ya get better. Love ya, Marilyn
  2. M

    Developing Online Friendships/What Are Some Do's & Don'ts?

    Starhawk, as I can't PM you I can't give you my email because I believe it unsafe to post it in public domain. However, I would love to get to know you better. I believe, IMHO, that the development of friendships is a very inportant part of healing and I guess I need alot of healing since...
  3. M

    Developing Online Friendships/What Are Some Do's & Don'ts?

    My main problem is I have serious boundary issues. I'm a boundary idiot!
  4. M

    Developing Online Friendships/What Are Some Do's & Don'ts?

    Nicolette, thank you for your kindness. Bless you.
  5. M

    Developing Online Friendships/What Are Some Do's & Don'ts?

    Growing up I had two very best friends. We were together always. They were always at my house. We didn't care about the rest of the world because we were in our own little worlds. However, when we got in high school that all changed. We grew apart. I became painfully shy and dispite my...
  6. M

    Body Image Disturbance - Anyone Else Have Low Self Esteem?

    Oh Pandora, Hun, we can't all be air brushed supermodels. I remember being one of those people who said, "My goodness you are beautiful." And I remember your responce. We were chatting and you had your cam on. You said just that, "Yea Right." I too have self esteem issues. But dang! Wish...
  7. M

    General My Step Dad's PTSD

    Thanks Kathy, that helps. I will ask him. Isn't it funny how sometimes the answers are so simple but yet so hard to think of in the midst of things? lol!
  8. M

    Need Someone With an Elderly Mom

    1st of all Herc, I'd like to say I think you are a very special person to be living with your mother and helping her like you are! Hats off to you!!!! My mother lives with my step dad, they are both elderly. My mom is 75 but walks like she's about 90+. There is such fragility in her walk and...
  9. M

    What Music / Song Do You Listen To When PTSD Is In Full Effect?

    When I'm feeling the worse of my PTSD, like a consistent depressed mood or extreme anger, I listen to Pink Floid, Led Zeplin, Metalica, or techno. Its somehow cathartic.
  10. M

    Realized Guy I Date Looks a Lot Like Molester From Childhood

    Hello Vera, I don't really know of any grand advise other than just be truthful with the guy. May be tell him that he looks like a guy that hurt you bad one time and you are afraid it will come inbetween you enjoying his company. There is nothing wrong with having feelings...
  11. M

    User Adaruth is Marilyn S.

    Well, I am sure there will be a point that I do argue with you as that seems our best repor! lol! But I will not argue the points you mentioned above because they are dead-eye-peat. One has to stop wanting sympathy and start wanting to actually look inward to one's own problems in order to...
  12. M

    General My Step Dad's PTSD

    Sometimes, I bring up the war and ask dad questions about his experiences. He bashfully chuckles and turns red faced. He always says that he is just a common person and all he did was try to stay alive and not go crazy. Is it bad for me to ask him questions? He seems to always answer...
  13. M

    User Adaruth is Marilyn S.

    Hee hee! I guess you'll have to ask Anthony that one! I know this, my behavior did warrent being banned and Anthony was very very kind to let me back on. It feels good that he recognizes a change in me for the better and that he would give me a second chance. I don't know how, just life I...
  14. M

    User Adaruth is Marilyn S.

    Claire, I am so sorry if I offended you by what I did. It was mostly out of stupidity. I thought it was the only way I could reach Anthony. I realized after doing so that I could have emailed him from the site. I wasn't trying to be meanly duplicious. I care about the people on...
  15. M

    So many things i just can't say. - afraid of being too graphic

    Hope, I appreciate your sinsitivity to my feelings and my responces to what you post, but I know you, I would have known it was just a mistake. Don't be hard on yourself. Really, I would have known. You are my friend and also the stuff you said would have been inconsistent with what the silly...
  16. M

    Does Anyone Garden?

    OK, I have to admit, I'm bragging a little but I just can't keep this one to myself. Hubs and I did not get to do the big garden thing again this year because I've been to sick and in & out of the hospital. Soooooooooo, to make a long story short, I grew tomatoes in my 10'x10' garden. OMG...
  17. M

    So many things i just can't say. - afraid of being too graphic

    PS. Bec I lost my glasses and I'm a search an peck typist. Its "Take Care" Hee Hee! I turned 40 this month so I'm squinting a bit more! lol!
  18. M

    So many things i just can't say. - afraid of being too graphic

    Thanks Bec! That was an awesome definition. I really love this part: "With forgiveness, we no longer build an identity around something that happened to us in the past." A good friend of mine told me just a few weeks ago something to that effect. It stuck with me. "She said for me to...
  19. M

    Am I Just Meant to Endure the Pain?

    I can very much relate to your feelings. I think IMHO that most of us with PTSD feel that way sometimes. I don't even pretend to have any answers but I can share with you some stuff that I have learned about living with PTSD: 1.) I make mental notes of the good times I have when I'm...
  20. M

    So many things i just can't say. - afraid of being too graphic

    Thanks to all of you for your support and very insightful suggestions. Hope, what a great idea! I already have a thread under public diaries so I'll have to make sure its OK for me to start another or perhaps rename the one I have, but I think your idea is great. That way if people are not...
  21. M

    How Can I Stop The Automatic Negative Self Talk?

    You are right, nody, we will show them by getting better and healing dispite their abuse. Veiled, I'm going to wal-mart today to buy some post its! Great idea! Especially about using the different colors. Until Later, love, Marilyn S.
  22. M

    How Can I Stop The Automatic Negative Self Talk?

    Thank You veiled. I think some of the stuff did come from others stuffing it in my head, especially my mother. She used to call me a stupid little idiot. She once told me that when I talked to other people and spilled my guts that I just made a fool of myself. Sometimes its like the...
  23. M

    So many things i just can't say. - afraid of being too graphic

    There are so many event in my head that at random seem to just flash before me. They are things I just can't speak of because they are too graphic. I wish I could tell. It hurts so bad to have these ugly things inside but I fear letting them out. Is it wrong to be graphic? Should I keep quiet...
  24. M

    How Can I Stop The Automatic Negative Self Talk?

    I'll try not to be too wordy but I'm having a problem with this automatic negative self talk. Its like there is this mean person in my head that at any moment is ready and poised to speak insults to me, but its me for crying out loud!!!! Things that come to mind are: "You are so stupid! You...
  25. M

    User Adaruth is Marilyn S.

    It was really stupid of me to do the whole new username thing considering I could have just emailed him, but I did it because I thought it was the only way I could communicate with Anthony to get back on the forum. And actually, Anthony did not kick me off for breaching the privacy rule. He was...
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