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    What's Keeping You Alive?

    I have different reasons on different days. But the healing process is keeping me alive ultimately. I will not leave suicide as a legacy for my sons.
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    The Great Benzo Debate

    I have found klonopin very helpful to sleep at night. I have not in my conscious memory slept well. I had a panic attack that took me to the Dr office and to an EKG, which was normal. That is when I started benzo's . I use them only as needed. Which is one time a day, right before bed. My...
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    My stalker knocked on the door last night. I did not answer. Today I am feeling fear, anger, withdrawn, hopeless and hopefully. The last feelings perplex me.
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    General Christmas Is Canceled!

    Hi Lovinbiker As a PTSD sufferer, I have to say all holidays are difficult for me. They are reminders of what I did not have, what did happen on holidays and how I never want to feel that way again. Every year I wish Christmas would just disappear. Each year I try to hide my discomfort. My...
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    Halloween Costumes

    This year I am very low energy. So I plan on wearing pink fleece pajama's with star's , purple slippers and carry my stuffed polar bear. So I can go straight from the festivities to bed. Planning ahead this year. :)
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    I Think I Figured Something Out. What Do You Think?

    The bells that are going off in my head are lyrical. Thank you for giving me the another piece to the PTSD puzzle. I know I feel differently than others, and my issues and insecurities feel out of control, I keep it to myself. But to actually think/believe/know that they are not my fault. Rather...
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    Flashbacks And Memory Discussion.

    Hi JamesyBoy I have visual flashbacks that leave me disassociated. I don't remember many aspects of the repeated trauma's I endured. But when I wake up so to speak after a triggered episode, I use a grounding technical I call simply 5 things : One item you can see, then close your eyes, one...
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    Grief - The Loss Of Our Old Self

    I too grieve the girl/woman I could have been. I am not completely unhappy with myself, but I find that I wonder what I could have done and where I would be if not for the childhood I endured. The grief seems to be a cyclical thing with me. I recently had a very difficult bout of grief...
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    Photos Of Nature Where You Live

    Link Removed I love living by the water. I had a little trouble finding the pictures. So these are just two of many
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    PTSD Symptoms You Are Dealing With Now

    Fear of change is what I am dealing with right now. I am not sleeping or have an appetite. I have been homebound due to knee surgery for a couple of years. I qualified for retraining just a few days ago. Its wonderful and scary at the same time. I can not seem to make my self leave my house for...
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    Multiple Diagnosis Labeling With Ptsd

    Thank you for the this article. I have felt especially burdened as of late. My T suggested I was depressed, and I am. But now that I think about it she put it into the context of PTSD. All a part of the PTSD package that I deal with. I did not fully understand what she meant. Now I do. So its as...
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    Suicidal Ideation Without Plan of Following Through

    brotatosalad, I can relate. I have made and discarded multiple plans with no intent of going through with them. But they come to me in the oddest moments. Mostly I wish gravity would just cut me loose and let me float away. I have children and would never go through with these plans that pop...
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    Facebook Depresses Me - Facebook Blues

    I have mixed feelings about Face book. I opened an account this year when I had surgery. I have found it nice to see the pictures of my family. On the other hand it reminds me that I am not out there living. I have shut myself in, and I don't know how to get back out to socialize. It makes me...
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    When My Puppy Helps More Than My Therapist

    I have a wonderful T. I am finding it helpful, but not enough. I have a cat, but its not a cuddly cat. Maybe a puppy would help distract me from my own pain.
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I am feel fear. I am feeling isolated. I am feeling this will never end.
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    What Are You Grateful For Today?

    I am grateful for my home. I am grateful my children are healthy. I am grateful for my sister. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for my cat, Lenore. I am grateful for firewood for the winter. I am grateful to be alive.
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    The Wish Game With A Twist (Just A Bit Of Fun)

    You wish is granted, Elizabeth can learn from her mistakes and appreciates the kindness. So now she is not embarrassed. I wish I could fly.
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    6 Possible Reasons Why People Don't Change

    Hi Curiouser, Thank you for the information. Now to apply it to myself. Excellent article.
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    Dissociation Explained

    I learned to dissociate at a very early age. I have experience out of body dissociation when subjected to extreme pain. But I have managed to keep myself as a single person. I believe I have different aspects to my personality that are activated with different triggers. Yet have no blank spots...
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    The Wish Game With A Twist (Just A Bit Of Fun)

    Your wish has been granted. You now can remember every detail of everything you have done everyday, the twist is tomorrow is another day with all new short term memories. I wish I could sleep better.
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I am feeling scared. I am feeling like giving up. I am feeling sick to my stomach. I am feeling grateful for my therapist. I am feeling anxious about seeing my therapist tomorrow. I am feeling like a loser. I am feeling tension all through my body. I am feeling like I want to just shut down.
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    What's Emotion Got To Do With It?

    Thank you. I found the article validating.
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    Interpersonal Styles: Aggressive, Passive, Assertive

    Thank you, I found this a very helpful reminder.
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    Relationship New Relationship With A Source Of Suffering

    I am unsure what you are asking. But I know you must make your own choices. If it was me , as woman affected by PTSD, I need space, quiet and a cool off period before I am able to be reasonable at times. There is an excellent graph on the effects of stress , both good and bad, as well as the...
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