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“I can’t love myself enough”

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Rose White

MyPTSD Pro
Catastrophizing

Black and White thinking

Future Tripping

This thought is probably a symptom of depression—Maybe a desire for a dopamine: not getting enough to feel satisfied.

also seems related to the phrase “I can’t numb enough.”

a sense of dissatisfaction

maybe the true statement is, “I feel dissatisfaction and discomfort but I don’t know why.”
 
I can’t love myself enough to feel calm. Right now.

Do I mean…
I can't love myself as much as I would like to be loved?

I don’t know. Somehow that statement triggers me. When I think “as I would like to be loved” I sense an implication of someone else and that feels forbidden according to personal rules right now. All my love will come from inside me, period, end of story, don’t want to talk about it—and it cannot be enough to make me feel calm or satisfied.

Just Right now though
I think,
which gives me hope that sometime in the future it will be enough.
 
I can’t love myself enough to feel calm.
What a wicked cool & interesting side effect! Benefit? Piece? Vexing, I don’t have the right word for it. Basically… That loving yourself usually makes you feel calm? Is seriously badass. 🥷🤩

Makes total sense how doubly distressing it would be to reach for that, needing calm, and not finding it.
 
That loving yourself usually makes you feel calm?

Would be nice! I don’t know what it usually does.

Turning on analysis mode. *click*

It seems that our best interpretation is that when we are not depressed we love ourselves enough to feel satisfied—this encourages a calm demeanor.

So maybe, thinking that I can’t love myself enough to feel satisfied is another sign that I am depressed.

Maybe an accurate statement would be, “One of the symptoms of my depression is a sense that I can’t love myself enough to feel satisfied.”

Maybe I’m not even really loving myself very much or very well. Maybe love is the wrong word. Maybe it’s self-care, like eating and stuff like that.
 
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