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40 Tomorrow

Discussion in 'General' started by -m1-, Sep 24, 2007.

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  1. -m1-

    -m1- Member

    I turn 40 tomorrow.

    Not sure why I am sharing that here.. y'all don't really know me yet because I am so new here.

    But it's significant. And I need to share it somewhere. With someone.

    Part of me wants to throw a pity party about it.


    Good lord the "best years" are over and I am one decade closer to the big dirt nap.

    But really.... when I think about it .... my 30's weren't THAT great. If I am going to inventory my "best years"... it's a sordid inventory. Because there werent any years that were my "best years". Then again, they ALL were... for one odd reason or another.

    Years 0 to 18 I don't recall a lot beyond some really dramatic events... crap that stands out like a bad Tarantino movie... with a lot of comedy, but mostly tragedy... and largely blank spots inbetween.

    20 to 30 was pretty ground breaking. Actually getting rid of the apathy of whether I lived or not. That was good. Lots of therapy. Getting off the chemicals. Stepping up to the plate to be a good Mom to my fiance's little boy. LOTS of forward advancement in honor of that little boy.

    My 30's were good because I had hit a certain point of wisdom. Went pell-mel into my "career". Stabilized my finances, long term responsibilites... took over the care of my aging mum (which had a lot of triggers and baggage to go with it). But otherwise, my 30's were seriously lacking... because I became so involved in "everything else"... I started losing me somewhere along the way.

    Tonight is my last day of being 39. My last day of being "in my 30's". And here I am.... recently finding myself on THIS site and in THIS situation. Gory-sakes and Begora. :rolleyes:

    What a surprise. Seriously.

    My negative thoughts tell me that I am screwed... being in this place, on the very brink of turning 40.

    My stubborness says "OH HELL NO. 40 is the new 30. Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of your life". :rofl:

    But no, really. I'm gonna roll with that thought.

    Tonight I sucked it up and did my Imagery exercise here. It will be my parting "bravery action" of being "in my 30's".

    I mean, what the Hell..... I start EMDR therapy on Thursday.... I might as well get my toes into the water before I head into the...whatever.

    Maybe 40 will be magic. Maybe my 40's is when its alllll gonna come together. Maybe a new life will start tomorrow, if I make sure it does.


    Maybe I will be embarrassed for posting this.

    Maybe not.

    The weird thing about being a moderated member is you cant take it back.

    Once you hit "submit".... you're screwed. :rofl:

    Maybe that's what's best for me.

    p.s. I want to start a trauma diary here. Seems I am too chicken to do so right now "in my 30's". Maybe I will get brave, once I'm 40, and do what I ought to do. :crazy:
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  3. Jim

    Jim Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday! I'm 56. Life begins at 40! ;-) No cliche there. Just being honest. In my 20s, I was busy making mistakes. In my 30s, cleaning up the mistakes I made in my 20s and finding out who I was. 40s and beyond, I know myself, don't care about unimportant matters (like looks and fame) as much as previous. The best years are after 40, not before! Least that's been my experience.

  4. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Well M1, Happy birthday and I do hope you have a really great day. 40 is the new 20 these days.... don't feel old.
  5. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    Happy birthday tomorrow, M1. Welcome to the new 20s. (Haha, thanks, Anthony.)

    Seriously, I turned 44 this year, and I understand a lot more now than I did in my 30s, and that will just continue.
  6. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    Happy Birthday M1!

    Glad to be sharing it with you, in some small way!

  7. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Happy 40th Birthday !!!!

    As my 94 year old grandfather says at every birthday about getting older; "Well it's better then the alternative"

    I hope you celebrate your special day. I'm not there yet, but I look forward to it. Most of my friends are approaching 40 or just on the other side & I admire their confidence, self awareness & wisdom. I wish the same for you!
  8. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

    Happy Birthday M1,

    Glad to hear your now 40. You did it too, you reached 40, who would've thunk it possible.

    HAPPY 40th B'DAY !
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...:thumbs-up...
  9. cactus_jack

    cactus_jack Well-Known Member

    Oh Lordy Lordy M1 hit 40!

    LOL! Happy Birthday M1!
  10. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Happy Birthday M1.

    Hope that you have a wonderful day.

  11. Lisa

    Lisa Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday :)

    When my mum hit 40, she hated it. Now she is 50 she says that 40 was her turning point in life, as her 20s were too. It wont be that bad... 40 is a number. Life is transient, and happens whatever the age your body is. Your age won't make you 'brave'... you will. Kind of like maturity is what you make of life in your mind, rather than just rumbling through it and not thinking or trying to change/improve a person's self. Age bears only a little relevance to that. You sound like a deep thinker, and I see that as a good thing.

    I guess my philosophical point is- 'life begins at 40'... but your personal development begins and stops when you decide for it to! Take credit for makign 40, and the good things you've achieved, and don't wait for life to happen. Most of the time it needs a good hard shove in the right direction for good things to happen.

    Sometimes I wish I could take my own advice!

    Anyway-take care of yourself, and hope 'the first day of life starting at 40' is a special day!

  12. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    Wel if 40 is the new 20 then I guess I'm 35! :wink:

    It is an old cliche M1, however age is merely a number, I have met 40 year olds who acted very old and bleak, and others who acted like teenagers (in a positive sense!). It truly boils down to your attitude and how you feel about yourself. I too was a trifle depressed when I turned 40, however the feeling did not last long. I do enjoy being older in that I feel more settled within myself, and seem to enjoy myself a lot more than I did when younger. I do hope you have a similar experience.

    Happy Birthday!
  13. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Hope you have a great birthday.
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