Hello new to this site..i am 44 and have experienced sexual abuse from age 3 to 15 by multiple different people i trusted. I feel like it has caused me the inability to connect to anyone emotionally, physically and even sometimes mentally. It has effected my entire life and 99% of it was negitive effect.
I have tried counslors and have since i was 15 years old numerous psychs, therapists...my mother was a person who forced me into therapy my entire adolescent years and it only percipitated negative behavior and self destruction of myself.
One of the people who physically and set me up for a friend to sexually abuse me was my brother..my mother dosent validate me with even acknowledging my memories..she believes that i am mixing memories up and that its not true. I remember everything and its not like i am asking her to not love him or disown him or any of that. I just needed her validation that she believes me. She always makes excuses ..like the belief that majority of teen males while enduring hormons and puberty will act on impulses and that its normal and very common. Yet again i am at a loss, i dont hate my brother but is it wrong for me to want an apology...and not just an im sorry but i am sorry for___________. I do accept that i may never get that from him, however i feel like i NEED it, not only from him but before my mother passes i need her to accept it and acknowledge it and then move on.
I also lost my fathet to covid on 12/24 and that has been hard. I feel an overwhelming sense of doom every day and latley it has been intolerable. I am hoping joining am online community for support may help me navigate some of these things by hearing others stories of survival and healing and sharing experience, strength and hope with eachother.
I have tried counslors and have since i was 15 years old numerous psychs, therapists...my mother was a person who forced me into therapy my entire adolescent years and it only percipitated negative behavior and self destruction of myself.
One of the people who physically and set me up for a friend to sexually abuse me was my brother..my mother dosent validate me with even acknowledging my memories..she believes that i am mixing memories up and that its not true. I remember everything and its not like i am asking her to not love him or disown him or any of that. I just needed her validation that she believes me. She always makes excuses ..like the belief that majority of teen males while enduring hormons and puberty will act on impulses and that its normal and very common. Yet again i am at a loss, i dont hate my brother but is it wrong for me to want an apology...and not just an im sorry but i am sorry for___________. I do accept that i may never get that from him, however i feel like i NEED it, not only from him but before my mother passes i need her to accept it and acknowledge it and then move on.
I also lost my fathet to covid on 12/24 and that has been hard. I feel an overwhelming sense of doom every day and latley it has been intolerable. I am hoping joining am online community for support may help me navigate some of these things by hearing others stories of survival and healing and sharing experience, strength and hope with eachother.
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