Sufferer 8 yrs Post car crash - Near to losing my job - need help

Robotguy66

New Here
Hi Folks - new here and hoping to find some help and support.

54 man, husband of 26yrs, father of 20 yr old twin sons.
I'm desperately trying to hold on to my job and sanity. After a car crash in 2012broke my finger and totaled my car, I started having Insomnia, extremely jumpy with sudden noises, very angry confrontations, and depression. Memory and focus problems are also bad.

Went to a therapist who diagnosed me with PTSD. I'm also taking Anti-depressants.

Over the past couple of years, I have had very angry outbursts at my co-workers which has caused them to fear me and not want to work with or around me. I have been warned several times now by management and had to sign a "Last Chance Agreement". Basically, if anything, ANYTHING
happens again I'm toast. Been to HR 4 times now. Can't seem to get a grip on the feeling of resentment and anger i feel at work but desperately trying to treat myself before I lose my job.

Thank you for creating this forum - best regards - JD
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Friday

Moderator
First off? Welcome to the community!

Secondly... if you read nothing else on here, DO read this >>> The ptsd cup explanation <<< It’s both the most immediately useful thing I’ve ever come across, as well as the most often used/long term tool in my belt. That damned good.

Question for you... not knowing what part of the globe you’re standing on, as PTSD is a medical condition, could you get some protected/paid time off in order to get your feet back under you?
 

Robotguy66

New Here
First off? Welcome to the community!

Secondly... if you read nothing else on here, DO read this >>> The ptsd cup explanation <<< It’s both the most immediately useful thing I’ve ever come across, as well as the most often used/long term tool in my belt. That damned good.

Question for you... not knowing what part of the globe you’re standing on, as PTSD is a medical condition, could you get some protected/paid time off in order to get your feet back under you?
Thank you very much - I live near Nashville TN, and I think my employer might consider paid medical leave, but i'd have to check on that. I'll look at the ptsd cup explanation. Thank you for caring, it really helps-
 

scout86

MyPTSD Pro
Just wanted to add to the welcomes. I think you'll find a good therapist can be a lot of help. This stuff is pretty hard to navigate on your own. Good luck!
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
RE Work-Work your contract and don't work your lunch hour. On your lunch time, find an isolated spot and besides eat, consider listening to music or meditating....shut out the world for that time. In other words, always take whatever breaks you get.....alone to recharge for the next half of the day. Take an am/pm restroom break.....so you are working up 3 breaks a day, which is reasonable. If you kind of make them regular, people will get used to you taking them.....and then it's just....time that your bladder is calling and you get up and take a break.

Don't talk about your home issues at work because you are likely on the gossip chain if you've scared people....Use diversionary tactics that make people smile......wife baked some cookies for the team......am donuts-they were always a hit.....tell a lame joke......and offer to help someone carrying stuff-do little nice things for people.and be prepared to talk about the good things going on in your life....if people are afraid of you....you need to demonstrate positive behaviors.....and win back trust. If you haven't apologized to those individuals you scared with your anger....consider that as appropriate if you are planning to stay at this job. If you have...don't do it twice....

Work hard to stay under the radar....anger sends a flag....look at me. That's not your end goal at this point. Blending in is what they want you to do....

I did take FMLA leave for several weeks after I started caving from boss bullying and a lot of family stuff all at once....and after two or three weeks off...I came back 1/2 days and was helpful. I did fine when I had support, a little time, and I got my anxiety under control.....Your new T can fill in any paperwork HR needs.

Be organized.....It is imperative to plan for the next day, and use a planner because when anger creeps in, don't know if you are getting foggy....but when the fog comes in, or the rehashing things in your head/looping over shit eats up time, so live by your planner......then the memory can be an issue. Use your phone planner or daily paper planner and schedule reminders for meds, meetings, haircuts, ....everything you do.....

Get Good Rest....if you are having sleeping issues.....that only worsens the explosive/loud anger......rest is like #1....benedryl or nighttime Tylenol are readily accessible.
Consider not going home and arguing....that creates sleep issues.....consider putting issues with wife on the back burner because you can't clean up issues at work and go home and fall out there......which isn't uncommon.

Find a yoga class for meditation and/or consider vigorous exercise every morning if you can.......that helped me a lot when I had those .....I gotta be right periods...or explosive anger issues because the boss was making up stuff and lying (a trigger for me)and I was his scapegoat. When the boss or coworker can trigger you......examine what he does and have a plan for that possibility with more than one options.

You can maybe get a federal work accommodation....for anxiety/PTSD ......look up federal accommodations for PTSD(not for anger).....I had a D for a boss....a bully....I got another boss as a federal accommodation because this one purposefully triggered me. All companies may not have other bosses who can step in.....accommodations can not cause unrealistic expectations or harm to the company.

I'd get into trouble over.....values....right and wrong......and my way was right or better......if you know you are feeling the need to say something, get into an argument, or strongly express your opinion......have something in your pocket to hold onto and concentrate on it's texture-like a bumpy rock, or silly puddy or whatever feels like it could work for a diversion....and let the opportunity to be on the opposing side of anyone's argument pass you by while you fiddle......it's a temporary diversion.....till the conversation changes. You don't have to stand out at work......they are asking you to fit in.....and it may just mean you become more quiet because you are having issues which are clouding your emotional responses and loudness......and check your hands.....when you get angry....don't make fists....put your hands in your pockets and fiddle......and divert your attention from the moment....till it passes.

Take notes.....Good luck...I know this is a hard moment....but make a plan. Good luck!
 

Robotguy66

New Here
RE Work-Work your contract and don't work your lunch hour. On your lunch time, find an isolated spot and besides eat, consider listening to music or meditating....shut out the world for that time. In other words, always take whatever breaks you get.....alone to recharge for the next half of the day. Take an am/pm restroom break.....so you are working up 3 breaks a day, which is reasonable. If you kind of make them regular, people will get used to you taking them.....and then it's just....time that your bladder is calling and you get up and take a break.

Don't talk about your home issues at work because you are likely on the gossip chain if you've scared people....Use diversionary tactics that make people smile......wife baked some cookies for the team......am donuts-they were always a hit.....tell a lame joke......and offer to help someone carrying stuff-do little nice things for people.and be prepared to talk about the good things going on in your life....if people are afraid of you....you need to demonstrate positive behaviors.....and win back trust. If you haven't apologized to those individuals you scared with your anger....consider that as appropriate if you are planning to stay at this job. If you have...don't do it twice....

Work hard to stay under the radar....anger sends a flag....look at me. That's not your end goal at this point. Blending in is what they want you to do....

I did take FMLA leave for several weeks after I started caving from boss bullying and a lot of family stuff all at once....and after two or three weeks off...I came back 1/2 days and was helpful. I did fine when I had support, a little time, and I got my anxiety under control.....Your new T can fill in any paperwork HR needs.

Be organized.....It is imperative to plan for the next day, and use a planner because when anger creeps in, don't know if you are getting foggy....but when the fog comes in, or the rehashing things in your head/looping over shit eats up time, so live by your planner......then the memory can be an issue. Use your phone planner or daily paper planner and schedule reminders for meds, meetings, haircuts, ....everything you do.....

Get Good Rest....if you are having sleeping issues.....that only worsens the explosive/loud anger......rest is like #1....benedryl or nighttime Tylenol are readily accessible.
Consider not going home and arguing....that creates sleep issues.....consider putting issues with wife on the back burner because you can't clean up issues at work and go home and fall out there......which isn't uncommon.

Find a yoga class for meditation and/or consider vigorous exercise every morning if you can.......that helped me a lot when I had those .....I gotta be right periods...or explosive anger issues because the boss was making up stuff and lying (a trigger for me)and I was his scapegoat. When the boss or coworker can trigger you......examine what he does and have a plan for that possibility with more than one options.

You can maybe get a federal work accommodation....for anxiety/PTSD ......look up federal accommodations for PTSD(not for anger).....I had a D for a boss....a bully....I got another boss as a federal accommodation because this one purposefully triggered me. All companies may not have other bosses who can step in.....accommodations can not cause unrealistic expectations or harm to the company.

I'd get into trouble over.....values....right and wrong......and my way was right or better......if you know you are feeling the need to say something, get into an argument, or strongly express your opinion......have something in your pocket to hold onto and concentrate on it's texture-like a bumpy rock, or silly puddy or whatever feels like it could work for a diversion....and let the opportunity to be on the opposing side of anyone's argument pass you by while you fiddle......it's a temporary diversion.....till the conversation changes. You don't have to stand out at work......they are asking you to fit in.....and it may just mean you become more quiet because you are having issues which are clouding your emotional responses and loudness......and check your hands.....when you get angry....don't make fists....put your hands in your pockets and fiddle......and divert your attention from the moment....till it passes.

Take notes.....Good luck...I know this is a hard moment....but make a plan. Good luck!
Thank you so much! This is exactly what I feel and what I am going through. I will try all these tips, thanks!! Gotta run and make the paycheck
 

littleoc

Sponsor
Thank you very much - I live near Nashville TN, and I think my employer might consider paid medical leave, but i'd have to check on that. I'll look at the ptsd cup explanation. Thank you for caring, it really helps-
Hey, I’m in the Nashville area, too. Glad you found the forums :)
 
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