A diary to help processing


New Here
This is my first diary, so I'm not sure of the etiquette or expectations. I'm starting one to help with processing and therapy.

Today was okay. I talked to Andrew and he confirmed for me that even externally I seem like I've given up. I experience every symptom of PTSD, and depending on the amount of stressors, some days are worse than others.
A scary incident happened in April, where I almost lost a loved one, and I blame myself every single day. Every single moment. And since then, I've been more hypervigilant than average and experiencing the worst bouts of depression. The incident put my body in a state of shock, and since then, I've developed an involuntary twich in my right arm and hand that happens everytime I have an anxiety attack, which is about 20x a day.
I'm hoping therapy, and writing journals and diaries like this, help reduce my symptoms. I want to stop filling so ill and barely functioning.