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A friend died last night

Discussion in 'Death' started by SpiritSong, Mar 14, 2018.

  1. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong myptsd.com depend$ upon YOU!!! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    He was also a client of mine. I'm sad, but I cannot cry. I have not cried since my father died about half a dozen years ago. Crying is very difficult for me, has been since long ago when one of my grandfathers told me, "Don't cry." at one of my grandmother's funerals. So, I am grieving in other ways, I guess. I feel a deep pain in my chest, not a heart attack kind of pain, but an emotional one. It is a pain I have felt a few times in my life. When loved ones die, this is the pain I feel, and I cannot release the pain, because I cannot cry very often, if at all today anyway.

    He was a wonderful man. Everyone looked up to him. He was known all over town. He will be missed. I guess I knew him for about 4 years, but it seemed a lot longer, because he minded me of the grandfather that told me not to cry. That just makes it that much harder to cry!

    He lived an exemplary life. He was a rare kind of man.
     
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  3. LuckiLee

    LuckiLee I'm a VIP

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    So sorry for your loss. We all grieve in different ways. My family cracks obnoxious jokes to get through difficult times. Some people probably think we're cold and unemotional. It's just how we deal.

    You can't grieve wrong. What ever you need to do is fine.
     
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  4. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong myptsd.com depend$ upon YOU!!! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    Thanks, I needed that @LuckiLee

    I have been writing a lot. I wrote some journal type entries. I have written my T, and some friends and family. Time will help too,I know.
     
    LuckiLee likes this.
  5. brokenEMT

    brokenEMT Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:
     
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  6. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong myptsd.com depend$ upon YOU!!! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I spoke to his family today and the woman said that he was all positive about me the day before the night he died. He raved about how intelligent he thought I was, how wonderful I was to him and lots more I cannot remember now, because I burst into silent tears as she told me this. I was really touched deeply by it. I told her it made my week and thanked her for telling me. It really did too. I was so moved by it all.
     
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  7. brokenEMT

    brokenEMT Well-Known Member

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    what a wonderful way to remember him, and a special gift from him to you. :hug:
     
  8. honeypie058

    honeypie058 Member

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    So for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful person.
     
    SpiritSong likes this.
  9. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

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    I'm so sorry....
     
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  10. KwanYingirl

    KwanYingirl I'm a VIP

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    I am sorry you lost a good friend and client. There’s ups and downs. I never cried before my friend died and when it finally broke through it has been cathartic. Everyone’s grief takes its own path. Pamper yourself. He sounds like a guy who would want that for you.
     
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  11. berlinda

    berlinda On the way to find out :-) Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    SpiritSong likes this.
  12. KwanYingirl

    KwanYingirl I'm a VIP

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  13. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong myptsd.com depend$ upon YOU!!! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I have been so tired. I slept half the day today. I don't feel like doing anything, including the usual things I do. I know I have to do certain things, like go to work, but today is a day off, so I crashed. I just could not take it any longer. I still have not been able to cry. I did yawn myself half crazy today, if that makes any sense? I guess I am running the gamut of emotions. How about you? How are you doing?
     
    Congruency, shimmerz and KwanYingirl like this.
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