Sufferer A life of trauma and I'm still discovering stuff, incl. childhood physical abuse


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1. Both parents physically abused me, always on the same day.
2. Mom used to make me lie across the bed and hit the backs of my knees with a switch.
3. They told me that they loved me though, and I believed them.
4. Grew up to be promiscuous.
5. Married the father of my unborn child who turned out to be mentally, verbally and emotionally abusive.
6. When my son was 7, he was gang raped by a ring of pedophile priests at his school. He dissociated from the trauma and didn't recover the memories until he was 29.
7. One year after recovering the memories, my son died in a motor vehicle accident.
8. 1 1/2 years later I left my abusive spouse and he took me to court, fighting to deprive me of my legal rights to half of assets.
9. I won and got 8 years of alimony!
10. He has alienated my daughter out of revenge and now we are estranged.
11. After spending 6 years in nearly total isolation, I find that I have healed many things. Just the silence alone was healing.
12. I am only now discovering that my father beat me in addition to my mother.
13. I wrote my father a letter notifying him I would not be coming to visit him and why.
14. He called me on the phone and told me that if my mother had "spanked' me then it was because I deserved it.
15. Triggered.
16. Been to 3 therapists who all discharged me without really having made a dent in what went on.
17. Mostly i work on myself with prayer, my Medicine Wheel, and now I'm reading Pete Walker's book about CPTSD. Awesome resource.
18. I'm scared to death I won't be able to support myself when my alimony runs out in 2022. My ex was always primary wage earner. I am currently building a web site and as i create things; shit floats to the surface that must be faced and dealt with. So progress is slow.
I9. I live in the rural South. Beautiful but backward. Although I must admit, i have found acceptance here and people that actually listen to me when I speak instead of interrupting me.