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A long standing habit I can't seem to shake - Cannot sleep before 3am-5am

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I have this issue, before 3-5 am I cannot sleep, and it changes, some days not sleeping at all. I've been this way since before I can remember. I know why, I think it's because of what would happen at night. But this habit has gotten in the way of me living a normal life for just as long.. I'm not sure what to do- maybe I just need to give myself more time. I don't have nightmares, I just cannot get to sleep and cannot turn off my phone etc etc. it seems so weird and unrealistic to go to bed even at 12. And I get tired, so tired, all I want to do is sleep but I just can't.. I'm just not sure what to do I suppose. I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? If so what has helped you?
methinks i empathize through the differences. i sleep like a dog, napping when there is nothing going on and active for whatever action presents. i'm not sure i've ever slept an 8 hour shift in my entire 68 years. i've been comatose for 8 hours or longer, but never restfully sleeping.

when i relax and flow with it, regardless of what the sleep regulators say, i sleep like a baby and feel well-rested.
When I’m doing badly 4am is my witching hour… I’m always awake for it. Either staying up for it, and then bliss, can finally sleep. Or a, jolting out of sleep for it (regardless of when I went to bed).

Which is ironic in some ways, as it’s the time that humans -as a species- are at their most tired. But totally logical, as 4am is the time we constantly struck targets, as it was when the waking guards would be fighting sleep, slow, sluggish, disoriented; and when the people sleeping would be in their deepest, hardest to wake from (or to hear commotion).

When I’m doing well, I both go to bed AND sleep right through 4am no problem.

But when I’m doing badly my body is still reacting/responding like it’s 20 years ago, and not today.
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