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A Newbie - Partner of a Vietnam Veteran

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Mystic, Nov 25, 2006.

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  1. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

    Good morning to everyone. I'm a 52 year old woman from Warren, Pennsylvania who is involved with a 52 year old man who was in Nam. He has issues that I'm just finding out. We began living together about a month ago, and have known each other for about 6 months prior.

    I'm seeing things from him that I never knew existed. Not sleeping, or sleeping at odd hours. Keeping his clothes on at night that he wore during the daytime. A constant need to eat, and watch TV, and sleep with the TV on at night when he does finally go to sleep. A constant need to watch things on the History channel, only things from the past, and nothing whatsoever in the present. When he does finally fall asleep he has nightmares where he yells, and I don't want to wake him from them, because I fear that he would more remember those dreams, if I awoke him. He doesn't seem to remember them otherwise.

    He refuses to leave the house other than to go get his medications. He says that his family has a history of Panic Attacks and that is what is happening to him when he gets to the point where he can't breathe, and thinks that he is having a heart attack, and no one is able to tell him otherwise. He knows about PTSD but refuses to hear me when I say that those Panic Attacks just could be PTSD. He refuses to see a doctor other than to get his meds. I'm not sure just what meds he's on, but I'll look and let you all know.

    There is much more, but I wanted to introduce myself to everyone, and let you know that what I've read so far, you all seem to be such a help to each other, and that's such a blessing. I'm just trying to cope myself, and also try to help him, but at this time, I'm really not sure what to do.

    I have been researching PTSD now for weeks, so I know all the signs and symptoms, and he is exibiting each and every one of them. He also refuses to tell me if he has ever been diagnosed with it, so I'm in the dark on that one. He also never talks about Nam, but the one time that he did, that night he had a nighmare that he did remember, but wouldn't speak of.

    I hope to get to know all of you. Please feel free to write and let me have some idea of what you all think. And thank you ahead of time.

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  3. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi Mystic, welcome to the forum. Yep, I agree with you whole heartedly... I think he has PTSD also, especially when you have looked at the symptoms and he displays them all... that has veteran = PTSD all over it. I say that, because often veterans often have all the symptoms, not just enough to be ill enough, or classified with PTSD, not so much because of the trauma itself, but because trauma was instilled within every soldier from basic training... that is how the military get a soldier from the civilian stress response of freeze, to the fighting military response of fight & flight.

    The ways in which the military invoke and change our responses, also happens to provoke when PTSD does arrive, in the form off all symptoms, and often to the maximum threshold.
  4. Josh77

    Josh77 Active Member


    Welcome to the forum... I'm new, also. There are many good people here!!

  5. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

    hi mystic, welcome to the forum. i can only speak for myself, but i tried to hide the symptoms and then the diagnosis for a while, because i thought people would think i was crazy. didn't really have a clue about ptsd, maybe he would be willing to look at some of the info on the forum?
  6. Mystic

    Mystic New Member

    Hello Again

    Well since he won't even admit to anyone outside our group of friends that he was even in Nam, I don't think that getting him here to read is even an option, and that in itself troubles me, because I feel that if he would talk to those who have been thru the hell in Nam that he went thru, he might just be able to come to some terms with it.

    I know that it won't ever go away, but it's getting thru the day to day living that he needs to get back into. It's difficult for me also to watch him and try to understand something that I've never been thru, and glad that I wasn't, but when it's someone that you love so much, you just want to reach out and attempt to heal them. One day he did say to me, "Heal me Baby", and all I could do was sit with him and tell him that I wished it was possible but that I couldn't do it for him, he had to try to deal with it, with me beside him. It's just all so very sad and depressing.

    Thank you for the responses that I did get, it just helps to talk to those who have been thru a trauma to teach me how to deal with it on a day to day basis. Love you all!
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