I survived long term ongoing trauma. and i feel like a part of who i use to be is now dead. sometimes when things got too overwhelmed to cope, a part of me would leave myself and shut down. i didnt care as much, and i didnt feel as much emotion when this happened. than i would come back to myself later, and than a part of me would leave again when things got too unbearable, and this kept happening. i feel like each time when i came back to myself i was a little bit more damaged. and now a part of me is dead, im not the same anymore. because i cant remember things, i cant focus, i cant control my emotions, i dont have the same motivation for life anymore, things dont matter like they use to, i cant think straight or funtion half the time, I procrastinate everything because everything is too stressful, i cant handle stress anymore. i push people away and shut people out of my life because im forever changed, and ill never be the same again. these are the reasons why i say a part of who i was is dead now. sometimes i also have temporary episodes when i cant hear or see as well. i feel like i was taken from myself. can anyone relate to having these feelings? is this typical for survivors of ongoing trauma?