For me and maybe a few others, that is the cure for the Beast, to go into combat. In my case it was the only thing I was f*cking good at. To this very day the excitement is still there after 44 years. On the other hand, maybe I just know what the out come would be for me at some point........End of Game!!! Easy way out when doing something your good at. I am not sure, maybe it's just an old man remembering his youth and dealing with getting old? (n)
I long for battle. I think it's a big part of my depression. Feel like a washed out athlete who got injured and can't play ball anymore.
RE-4. Barred. Looked into doing a lot of other alternatives and basically wasn't willing to accept that I did my part. Nothing came around. Only thing offered was standing gate guard in Kosovo, leaving on my birthday, or try to finish school and make a relationship work. FFL wasn't very tempting seeing as I didn't want to fly to France and get told I wouldn't be allowed in. Ronin. Straight banished. If only I knew what it was like to struggle as a civilian before I went in. I would of appreciated it a lot more. Then again if I was back in on regular army active duty I'd surely be pissed off about something. Wishing I could sleep in.