A sigh of relief and a day of excitement

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
I'm still subject to recall from a job that requires me to spend 2.5 hours on public transportation per day to get there and home. I'd gotten used to standing in the center of downtown Portland in pitch black morning to catch the train but before I got laid off this whole virus thing had me pretty on edge. I was born with a severe cleft palate and my throat is deformed - it affects my ability to filter out airborne viruses. I had a black washable filter mask long before it was cool.

Sitting on the bus for as long as I did in such tight quarters was very unnerving. I started acting like a person with OCD, sanitizing my hands repeatedly, etc. It bothers me so much that I have been on public transit a total of 2 times in the last 3 months since I was laid off. I don't own a car.

A couple of weeks ago, I talked to the SSA and they have provisionally reinstated my disability benefits. At that point, I still planned to go back to my job when they called me, though I had asked my boss to wait to call me back as long as possible even though the thought was making my skin crawl. I also was planning to cut back to part-time.

This morning my husband and I had a discussion and went over our finances. The long and the short of it is that instead of me going back to that job, I am going to start focusing my efforts on offering virtual assistant services from home with a specialization in business writing.

I feel so much better!

For the last three months this work situation that was already on a downhill slide (because I was having trouble walking) has been haunting me like some inevitable doom waiting off in the distance. I kept seeing myself on that bus clutching my hand sanitizer and hissing at people as they walked past. I saw myself losing my cookies with coworkers who couldn't understand the social distancing thing. I planned social responsibility speeches in my head for basically anyone who raised an eyebrow.

Of course I am also nervous but as I am currently enrolled in a class to work on the whole small business (finding clients) situation, I am also really excited and feeling a strange rush of confidence that I don't think I have ever had before. I feel like I am going in the right direction maybe for the first time in my work life. Every other time I was just holding on for dear life and hoping "they" wouldn't find me out. But this? I can do this.

I guess I just wanted to tell someone. Everyone I might call has stuff going on right now.
 

littleoc

Sponsor
That is so wonderful! All that work to set this up will be worth it!

Check out the Freelancer’s Bible co-written by Sara Horowitz (founder of the freelancers union) if you want some really good advice! It helped me out so much. Especially with boundaries when it comes to naming prices to services.

Exciting!!
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
That is so wonderful! All that work to set this up will be worth it!

Check out the Freelancer’s Bible co-written by Sara Horowitz (founder of the freelancers union) if you want some really good advice! It helped me out so much. Especially with boundaries when it comes to naming prices to services.

Exciting!!

Out of curiosity, what is it that you do as a freelancer?

Also, thanks on the book suggestion. I was staring right at that book on Amazon yesterday and then saw your suggestion this morning, so I took it as a sign and ordered it. It was last week or the week before when I ordered The Body Keeps the Score based on a suggestion from this group. If I keep it up I'll have a whole new library by Christmas!

Thanks again!
 

littleoc

Sponsor
If I keep it up I'll have a whole new library by Christmas
Nice ?

I am on hiatus, but I coach and edit, proofread, and etc for short stories and books, and want to write articles freelance-style (haven’t been accepted yet). That book helped me a ton! :)
 
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