Abilify insomnia and general rant

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
Hi all!

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar I with psychosis on top of CPTSD (which is mainly in remission but occasionally I have triggers, they just usually don't affect me too badly). My doctor is tapering off my Geodon that I've been on for years (hasn't been working, been having hallucinations), and I'm also on Effexor and buspar.

My doctor also added 5mg Abilify. I took my last dose last night and I have slept maybe two to four hours. The insomnia is worse than anything I've ever had (I've had insomnia my entire life). I'm also recovering from an awful, awful case of mono and not sleeping makes everything worse. However, I think it's already improving my mood. I've been swinging hard between deep depression and high high mania even on my meds and this is the most level I've felt. I've been having constant, draining suicidal ideation and right now I can't even think of it--big improvement.

Those who were on it, did you adjust and stop having insomnia? I'm thinking of taking it in the AM instead of PM.

I'm also just struggling. I feel like the world has just been hitting me with things after things. I'm proud about how I'm dealing with it, and I wouldn't have been this level a year to five years ago, but it's just hard. I wish I could pay for two therapy sessions a week. I'm trying to balance my first full-time salary job with dealing with these awful symptoms, dealing with fatigue from recovering from mono, med adjustments, the worst triggering experiences I've had in years, chores, family time, friend time, self care, and taking care of my hopefully-mine-in-24 days street dog my roommate found (her owner most likely doesn't want her back, local law says we haver to wait 30 days after filing a found dog claim to keep her). She is so helpful but the apprehension of possibly losing her is so anxiety inducing that I was having trouble sleeping before the meds.
 

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
Also all these med changes are upping my appetite so badly, I've gained over 30lbs since moving to this new state, I feel awful about myself and I know Abilify can add weight too which is scary to me because I can barely get myself to eat right, let alone eat at all (ED active--I either starve myself or binge).
 

LittleBigFoot

MyPTSD Pro
It took me roughly a week to adjust to the 5mg Abilify. I didn’t have the insomnia so much, just nightmares and my psych doc prescribed 50mg trazadone to help me get to sleep if insomnia became a thing. I feel you though on the hunger, it’s intense, super intense, but that too faded after about a week. How long have you been on it?
 

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you @LittleBigFoot ! I'm on buspar at night so maybe we can up it for sleep. That was my first day o it and my first day tapering off Geodon too. I think I'm just freaking out because I've missed so much work and just feel like I'm failing at life (even though I'm doing a great job at work even though I'm missing a lot of it)
 

LittleBigFoot

MyPTSD Pro
I feel like that’s a lot of med changes all at once and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the cause of the insomnia. Your brain is scrambling to figure out what to do with all these differences. But if upping Buspar helps you sleep, I’d definitely do it, insomnia is miserable. I’m glad you’re doing good at work!
 

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
Hi thank you both!! I took it at night again last night and I slept sooo well so hopefully that continues. My doctor said I can’t take it in the AM which I get it’s very sedative. I think I was having a PTSD episode the other night bc I had awful symptoms. I feel way better today albeit very sleepy.
 

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
Well I think a day or two after this I started showing signs of mania. I have barely been sleeping but have tons of energy. Comboed with psychosis symptoms, seeing things. Tonight I went out to a charity concert thinking it would wear me out and I would sleep (I have so far slept two non consecutive hours). I feel both not exhausted and so revved up that even extra sedative meds are not touching me. I’m incredibly irritated and also euphoric.

I’m also having an awful time because I found out the pup we rescued and are keeping has worms and one of my psychosis features is feeling bugs are crawling under my skin. I have to keep her in a kennel because of the risk of cross contamination but she’s just confused. She’s a big comfort too because she snuggles with me. I have to go back to the emergency walk in vet which is so much money. I also haven’t met my work goals due to being so sick mentally and physically. I just feel like I’m totally losing it.
 

Friday

Moderator
I’m also having an awful time because I found out the pup we rescued and are keeping has worms and one of my psychosis features is feeling bugs are crawling under my skin
Reality Check… You’ll never feel the kinds of worms dogs get under your skin, AND 2 pills (metronidazole, usually, occasionally others) keeps YOU worm free. Round worms, pin worms, etc. are GI worms. Not epidemal.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had scabies, before… which are an under-the-skin kinda thing, as well as various fungal infections, and tropical ailments galore… and I tooooootally get isolating infection vectors due to past experience with OMFG. I’m not saying kenneling is wrong, whilst treating for worms. It’s just a reality check. The kind of worms dogs get? Won’t be your brain logging blood flow and hair movement & interpreting it as parasites. It just won’t. If you’re feeling things crawling under your skin? That’s just your brain being ADHD-like and not filtering out the things it usuallly filters out (like blood going where it needs to go, and indivudal hairs moving).

I also just am spending too much money. I took preventative measures but it’s so hard to stop.
Good on, for recognising that. As well as taking steps.

The thing with euphoria? ANYTHING will feel good. So in addition to preventative measures against things that will bite you in your ass as soon as you sober up? Try doing things you usually hate, and would have to drag yourself to doing, under normal circumstance. IE? Make the symptom/side effect work for you AND as it’s having to push so hard to get there? Expect to lose the euphoria, and “just” reach an “okay, I can DO this.” CAVEAT = Hemmingway. IE Write drunk. Edit sober. = Don’t Press “send” on anything you do whilst euphoric. Wait until you sober up, wand can edit in your right mind, THEN pull the trigger.
 

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
Reality Check… You’ll never feel the kinds of worms dogs get under your skin, AND 2 pills (metronidazole, usually, occasionally others) keeps YOU worm free. Round worms, pin worms, etc. are GI worms. Not epidemal.
thank you that helps so so much, I definitely was struggling. I was able to sleep after changing all my sheets, that tricked my brain a lot!!
and I tooooootally get isolating infection vectors due to past experience with OMFG. I’m not saying kenneling is wrong, whilst treating for worms. It’s just a reality check
my roommate had suggested it for me, she has experience with animals having worms, also we have to isolate her for now because my roommate has cats, so she'll be in my room only for now (I'll most likely be able to get her in today)
Try doing things you usually hate, and would have to drag yourself to doing, under normal circumstance. IE? Make the symptom/side effect work for you AND as it’s having to push so hard to get there? Expect to lose the euphoria, and “just” reach an “okay, I can DO this.”
This is such a good idea!! I've noticed work is a lot easier and also cleaning, I cleaned a lot and organized everything on top of just a bunch of administrative person adult living things (but my issue is I get distracted by them and have to do them and then don't work lol, love hyperfocus).

I'm going to make a list of things I don't really want to do and do them!!
 
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