It’s funny how I think she’s in love with me the way I want always, total projection. I see what I want in her or I see myself? Anyway, not so in love this morning because jumping back in bed was like nowhere on her priority list. It’s fine we aren’t going to do battle, we’ve done that thirty years. I’m trying not to be all about myself and so something for her but the things I think I should do for her are not tho ha she wants. The physical touching without sex she likes but I love it because I see a happy ending. Not just for me? Like she thinks I’m mad because I want to “have an orgasm” but I don’t, I want “us” to have an orgasm because I want it to be “us” about everything? Not her , she wanted (and wants) a husband in name only. It’s sad, but it is what it is, it’s not impossible, just difficult.