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abuse, terrifying experiences, extreme isolation, need some advise

stranger2myself!

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Thread starter #1
i feel like ive been through far more than i can handle. i use to hang out with friends all the time, and couldnt stand staying at home for long. now i just shut everyone and everything out everyday all the time. i spend over 23 hours a day at home alone. i dont think thats normal at all. when people ask to hang out i make excuses not to. i was in an abusive relationship. i just recently lost two vehicles because if i tried to make the payments he would freak out and hurt me physically. people in my own family tell me that its my fault that i lost everything because i didnt break up with him when they told me to. and refuse to help me. he got arrested a while ago. than i lived in an apartment for 2 months where alot of strange/freaky happened. ive moved 3 times since i lived there, and it kept following me around. many times i would feel someones hand touching my body but didnt see anything there, i even felt like i was being groped sometimes. i heard creepy voices, and other people heard the same thing too, so i know its not in my head. in all 3 places ive heard wierd noises coming from the bathroom, and felt a presence. i cant talk to people about it because it freaks them out, but i feel the need to talk about it. i feel like im going crazy, and cant go to the doctor right now, so im looking for advice. i feel like the only one in the world who has all this strange stuff happen, but cant talk about it cause people think im nuts and ill scare them off. so its driving me crazy.
 
#2
So. . . Okay. I think two different things are mentioned here and I’m hoping I got them straight. A ghost, which okay, I mean I don’t think we’re alone in this universe but why pick on you? And the first thing you mentioned breaking up with someone- I’m assuming not the ghost. So, have you sought help for at minimum the former relationship?
 
#3
How sure are you that it’s a ghost, and you’re not suffering from flashbacks of being groped, and the sounds of your own abuse? Flashbacks are very rarely the full immersion / nightmare whilst awake / Hollywood style deal... and far more often reliving pieces of trauma... the touch, sound, scent, taste, of it. Because if you have PTSD from being abused, it would very easily follow that you’d have flashbacks of that abuse.
 
#4
Hi,

Sorry things are so hard.

How is your eating and hydration and staying warm and doing things to keep occupied, other than thinking of things that scare you, even when you can't go out?

And I think it might be a good idea to talk to people - even if you can't talk about the weird, about how scared and weirded out you are.

Even in cultures where ghosts are commonly accepted parts of daily life, they are not allowed to disturb people, and if someone is disturbed by them days long, most medically knowledgeable person gets consulted - as there are usually hormonal, biochemical, psychiatric things going on, not just the ghost.

That doesn't mean your perception is not real...

It means it doesn't have to be as stressful as it is, if you get healing for all else going on.

And?
You survived your ex.
You got through that.

You know how strong and powerful you are, to do that? :sneaky:

Some punkass ghost can't hurt you.
You dealt with your ex.
 

stranger2myself!

Policy Enforcement
Thread starter #5
and i am losing my mind for real. cause i wrote this post for one main reason specifically....BUT FORGOT TO EVEN TALK ABOUT THE MAIN REASON. the specific thing i meant to talk about is that certain people in my family are constantly reminding me that "i chose to be with him" "im responsible for everything he did" "i didnt have to choose such a loser for a boyfriend". i told them im trying to leave it behind and go on with my life and leave this crap behind me. but it seems like they want me to be punished for it all day everyday until the day i die. and i do wierd shit like this all the time scaring myself. how did i write that whole first paragraph and not mention my main problem??? anyone else do that?

How sure are you that it’s a ghost, and you’re not suffering from flashbacks of being groped, and the sounds of your own abuse? Flashbacks are very rarely the full immersion / nightmare whilst awake / Hollywood style deal... and far more often reliving pieces of trauma... the touch, sound, scent, taste, of it. Because if you have PTSD from being abused, it would very easily follow that you’d have flashbacks of that abuse.
the voice just didnt sound like him at all, it didnt even sound human. it sounded creepy and demonic. i couldnt understand anything it was saying. and the touching... im not sure, there were times when i would feel someone touching me but it wasnt always in a sexual way, most of the time it wasnt sexual. and it didnt really feel anything like how it felt when he touched me.
 
#6
Your family are abusive victim blaming people... that doesn't make any of their words true. Not even for a second.

Not mentioning it sounds like avoidance, classic. Suuper super normal for this disorder. One of its key symptoms, in fact. :) Nothing wrong with you or scary, even if it ends up feeling scaring you.

As to 'the voice sounded demonic'...
Here's the thing, trauma can twist all sorts of perceptions... and doesn't mean anything supernatural is going on.

It only means your brain is traumatized and changing the original perception, to amount of high pressure emotions / stress associated with it. All veeery very normal. :)

Demons hold only so much power as human belief in them gives them.

You can safely disregard it, even if it IS demonic, and focus on your healing.
 

stranger2myself!

Policy Enforcement
Thread starter #7
Your family are abusive victim blaming people... that doesn't make any of their words true. Not even for a second.

Not mentioning it sounds like avoidance, classic. Suuper super normal for this disorder. One of its key symptoms, in fact. :) Nothing wrong with you or scary, even if it ends up feeling scaring you.

As to 'the voice sounded demonic'...
Here's the thing, trauma can twist all sorts of perceptions... and doesn't mean anything supernatural is going on.

It only means your brain is traumatized and changing the original perception, to amount of high pressure emotions / stress associated with it. All veeery very normal. :)

Demons hold only so much power as human belief in them gives them.

You can safely disregard it, even if it IS demonic, and focus on your healing.
yeah the victim blaming is really getting to me lately. like yesterday i told my sister that my neighbor got $200 stolen out of his car in the parking lot. and right away she started blabbing about "WELL YOUR NEIGHBOR SHOULDNT HAVE LEFT THE MONEY IN THE CAR" like wtf??? why is she saying that,?? she should be talking crap about the thief, not the victim!
and as far as the supernatural shit... theres just way too much wierd shit thats happened, really extreme stuff that other people experienced the same thing when they were with me, theres alot more than what i wrote, me and my friend both saw people sitting in the truck in the backyard and than they just vanished without walking away and theres tons and tons more other wierd stuff like that
So. . . Okay. I think two different things are mentioned here and I’m hoping I got them straight. A ghost, which okay, I mean I don’t think we’re alone in this universe but why pick on you? And the first thing you mentioned breaking up with someone- I’m assuming not the ghost. So, have you sought help for at minimum the former relationship?
yes i sought help but the therapist kept saying "i dont know" when i asked for advice on certain things.

and at the other place i lived at i always heard a creepy voice whispering from the shower drain. i did uncrossing baths here which helped a lot. but i still hear faint whispers coming from the shower drain and the sink drain. once i heard it say "satan" other than that i havent been able to understand what its saying. i dont understand why i always heard it coming from the drains?? like why the drains??
It only means your brain is traumatized and changing the original perception, to amount of high pressure emotions / stress associated with it. All veeery very normal. :)
why would i keep hearing it coming from the shower drain and the sink drain? but thats the only place i hear it lately

BTW THERE IS SO SO SOOOO MUCH MORE THATS BEEN GOING ON. THIS IS ONLY A SMALL PART OF IT ALL. I JUST DONT HAVE HOURS TO TYPE EVERYTHING ELSE OUT
 
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#8
It's pretty common to misattribute sounds to one place, or hear some sounds (like the drains) louder if focused on them, especially for quite a long time. What you listen in for matters, you can tune it up or tune out all else by what sound you concentrate on most.

Or to notice movement reminiscing of people in one's peripheral vision that isn't there when one looks again - causing an illusion of vanishing people - and other myriad of optic illusions that can be distressing.

Can I ask if you've been to a neurologist and optometrist? Like, brain doc and eye doc?

As I'd check I'm literally seeing straight, both the eyes and brain making sense of what it sees, before assuming ghosts.

I mean, if I'm dealing with a bona fide ghost, would like to notice them straight, instead of have the whole experience colored by my sleep deprivation, brain glitches, atmosphere playing tricks on my sight and hearing, and so on.
 

stranger2myself!

Policy Enforcement
Thread starter #9
Your family are abusive victim blaming people... that doesn't make any of their words true. Not even for a second.

Not mentioning it sounds like avoidance, classic. Suuper super normal for this disorder. One of its key symptoms, in fact. :) Nothing wrong with you or scary, even if it ends up feeling scaring you.

As to 'the voice sounded demonic'...
Here's the thing, trauma can twist all sorts of perceptions... and doesn't mean anything supernatural is going on.

It only means your brain is traumatized and changing the original perception, to amount of high pressure emotions / stress associated with it. All veeery very normal. :)

Demons hold only so much power as human belief in them gives them.

You can safely disregard it, even if it IS demonic, and focus on your healing.
my sister does not understand how abusers mess with a persons head by making them feel like they deserve the abuse, and than all the threats that come with it all too. shes always been treated like an angel. its hard to move on and better myself when im always hearing "well you shouldnt have dated him if he treated you so badly" it almost seems like shes taking his side.
 
#10
Yeah, I get that hurts...

On another hand, abuse is, for not abused people, legit hard to imagine. Some times they're wanting to help and decent peeps, themselves, but what abuse does is just outside of their scope.

Not that they agree with it - even if they phrase things insensitively as trying to understand - just that to grasp both the complexity AND severity of issues of it is nigh impossible without having direct experience.
 

stranger2myself!

Policy Enforcement
Thread starter #11
Yeah, I get that hurts...

On another hand, abuse is, for not abused people, legit hard to imagine. Some times they're wanting to help and decent peeps, themselves, but what abuse does is just outside of their scope.

Not that they agree with it - even if they phrase things insensitively as trying to understand - just that to grasp both the complexity AND severity of issues of it is nigh impossible without having direct experience.
yeah before i ever met him i use to wonder why girls stayed in abusive relationships, and i always thought "id never put up with that" thats cause i didnt understand that its a process and it messes with a persons way of thinking
 
#12
Have you tried burning a sage stick around the corners of your room? You can order them online at Etsy or Amazon. I cleanse my room monthly.

Much of what you're going through I have also been through. PTSD is horrific but you can get better! It takes a long time and is hard, but usually a trauma therapist can help.

Your family doesn't get it, they don't understand how abuse affects you, nor do they understand PTSD. I know you want them to, but you're going to have to do without their support until you're well enough to educate them. You have the folks here on MyPTSD to talk with now, so come here often and talk to others who get it. You sound so frightened, I wish I could help.
 
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