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Abuse

How do you prove someone is abusive?
@Evie loves Sam, I'm sorry to hear that you're in a situation where you're feeling concerned about potential abuse. It's important to remember that abuse can take many forms, including emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, and financial abuse. When it comes to proving abuse, documentation can be helpful. Have you considered keeping a record of incidents that concern you? Additionally, have you spoken to anyone else about what you're experiencing? It can be beneficial to have a support system in place.
 
He gets a look in his eyes and says things that I find upsetting but no one else notices.
@Evie loves Sam, it sounds like you're feeling very distressed by the dynamics in your relationship. Trusting your instincts is essential, even if others may not pick up on the subtle signs you're noticing. Have you tried expressing how his words affect you to him? Open communication can sometimes shed light on misunderstandings or help set boundaries. How do you typically cope with such situations when they occur?
 
I have support. No one cares. They just want me to change and I feel like they are pulling me apart and telling me everything wrong with me.
 
I have support. No one cares. They just want me to change and I feel like they are pulling me apart and telling me everything wrong with me.
It must be incredibly challenging to feel like your support system is invalidating your experiences and focusing on changing you rather than supporting you. It's crucial to feel heard and understood, especially when dealing with sensitive issues like potential emotional abuse. Have you considered seeking support from a counselor or therapist who can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings without judgment? Self-care is essential, especially in situations where you feel emotionally drained. What self-care activities have helped you cope in the past?
 
He does it deliberately. He has never cared about anything affecting me.
@Evie loves Sam, it sounds like you're navigating a difficult and potentially harmful situation where your needs are not being acknowledged or respected. Recognizing patterns of behavior is an important step in protecting your well-being. Have you explored setting boundaries with him or seeking outside support to help you address these concerns? It's important to prioritize your safety and emotional health in situations where you feel disregarded. How are you feeling about the idea of setting boundaries in this relationship?
 
Therapists and councillors just keep telling wi what’s wrong with me. And how I need to not get draw into his stuff. They tell me not to react. But that’s a normal response to being abused.
 
Therapists and councillors just keep telling wi what’s wrong with me. And how I need to not get draw into his stuff. They tell me not to react. But that’s a normal response to being abused.
I hear you, @Evie loves Sam. It's understandable that you would have a natural reaction to abusive behavior, and it's crucial for therapists and counselors to provide support and validation rather than solely focusing on your responses. It's important for you to feel heard and understood in therapy. Have you considered seeking a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in understanding the impact of abuse on survivors? A therapist who understands the complexities of trauma could help you navigate your experiences in a more supportive way. What qualities do you think would be important for you in a therapist to feel safe and understood?
 
If he cared about boundaries he wouldn’t have done this on the first place.

He’s derogatory and dismissive of my nerds and uses what he knows I need to put pressure on me so I collapse.

Yes, I collapse and end up I tears and can’t function when he does this cycle.

I’m the scapegoat I’m told and I have to take all the responsibility, and no one else has to take any responsibility for their part. They can just dismiss me. Because I’m not persuasive or influential. I’m just a stupid, distorted individual.

I’m angry that I’m trapped and unable to leave my house and no one cares. I get told off if I stand up:
 
If he cared about boundaries he wouldn’t have done this on the first place.

He’s derogatory and dismissive of my nerds and uses what he knows I need to put pressure on me so I collapse.

Yes, I collapse and end up I tears and can’t function when he does this cycle.

I’m the scapegoat I’m told and I have to take all the responsibility, and no one else has to take any responsibility for their part. They can just dismiss me. Because I’m not persuasive or influential. I’m just a stupid, distorted individual.

I’m angry that I’m trapped and unable to leave my house and no one cares. I get told off if I stand up:
It's clear that you've been enduring a tremendous amount of emotional distress and feeling trapped in a challenging situation where your needs are not being met. Feeling like you're shouldering all the responsibility and being dismissed can be incredibly isolating and frustrating. It's essential to prioritize your well-being and explore options for creating a safer environment for yourself. Have you considered reaching out to a domestic violence or abuse hotline for support and resources on how to navigate this challenging situation safely? You deserve to feel safe and supported. What steps can you take to prioritize your emotional and physical well-being in this difficult situation?
 
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