Undiagnosed Abused from aged 4 to 37

[SunsetDawn83]

Hello everyone, I'm Lesley, I'm 37 years old and I was mentally, psychologically and neglected from been as young as 4 by both parents til just a few months ago when I realised what they did classed as abuse. I've nearly off the symptoms of CPTSD, especially the physical affects. I'm constantly on edge around my mum and I feel disconnected from the world, it's like I'm here but I'm not. I don't feel special, I'm scared of conflict in case something "bad" happens. I'm nearly always bored but I'm too edgy to do anything and to actually unwind, I can only really unwind when it's bedtime and I can put on headphones to drown out the thoughts, and flashbacks in my head. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I was reading that both of those are related to CPTSD. I'm scared of my friends leaving me and I cannot stand up for myself in a argument. Thanks for reading. I'm very easily startled and even my other half sneezing I jump out of my skin with fright.

 

[Survivor3]

Hi @Lesley83 welcome to the site.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

Hi @Lesley83 welcome to the site.

Thank you

 

[ladee]

Welcome! I hope you find answers here that will help you to decide to seek help. I know it's a 'label' but it does help to have someone qualified to diagnose you to get the real help you might need.

While you are deciding, read around the forum and see how many people feel the same way you do. About the same things and life in general.

Glad you are here. Sorry for the reasons, but still glad you are here.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

Welcome! I hope you find answers here that will help you to decide to seek help. I know it's a 'label' but it does help to have someone qualified to diagnose you to get the real help you might need.

While you are deciding, read around the forum and see how many people feel the same way you do. About the same things and life in general.

Glad you are here. Sorry for the reasons, but still glad you are here.

Thank you, I'm actually ringing the doctors on Monday for some help. I'm already on antidepressants for anxiety and depression but I feel like I need some therapy for whatever I'm going through.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

Hello everyone, it's been a while. I've been referred to a mental health unit for atm undiagnosed Complex PTSD. hopefully, once I've seen the specialist ill have more of an understanding.

 

[joeylittle]

Good job sticking with the steps, @Lesley83.

 

[SunsetDawn83]

I don't even know where to post this so I thought here should be ok. I feel so alone atm, I don't know how long the wait is but I hope its sooner rather than later. I can't go on like this. The flashbacks, the always on alert. If anyone sees this...I don't know...just..something

 

[Survivor3]

Sounds like your struggling. Are you in the UK?

 

[SunsetDawn83]

Sounds like your struggling. Are you in the UK?

Yeah,I am. Xx

 

[Survivor3]

What's the situation with being referred to a mental health unit? Do you mean having a stay in a psychiatric ward?

 

[SunsetDawn83]

What's the situation with being referred to a mental health unit? Do you mean having a stay in a psychiatric ward?

No, I need to see a mental health specialist, that's all I know. Don't know when, how, who or where. Xx