Abusive Father Died: Will Amnesic Sibs Remember?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Powder

MyPTSD Pro
I know it's a dumb question nobody can answer with any degree of certainty, but nonetheless, I am trying to be emotionally prepared for my siblings to perhaps begin to suffer from flashbacks of the abuse now the abusive father just died.

I have read that some remember when strong enough, some when the abuser dies, during grief, and others in end of life process crisis, while others will never remember at all.

So there is no answer only questions.

I simply don't know how I should or could respond if and when they are re-traumatized by this. I know that for me and most people, there is a longing for confirmation and validation to not feel you're just crazy, or fence sitting, not wanting to believe what was remembered as real during shock.

I guess it's hard for me to recall all that I went through 6 years ago in 2011 when I got hit with a 5-year flashback fest and it all came back to me. It was very hard. Especially with the way it turned out with me being pushed away.
 

Congruency

Policy Enforcement
@Muse
I remembered what my father did to me and worse what he did to others after my mother died in 2010. My mother was a narcissist and kept me from revealing family secrets. After she died, my subconscious knew I was safe and the memories came flooding out of me.

My first memories emerged after a triggering trip to the area of the United States where the abuse occurred by my father. Though those memories centered around my dysfunctional FOO and not my father. I was 26 years old.

Then 9 years later and after I settled down in my first house, the memories about my father began to emerge. That's the first time, age 35, that I started therapy for a long haul.
 

Powder

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you for helping me understand better and keep my empathy meter high, @Incongruous

Also, according to online research, I read that having amnesia for childhood abuse is "situation specific" amnesia and only occurs in PTSD, meaning that likely everyone in my family has PTSD. That's a big pill for me to swallow, but given the Domestic Violence, it's high time I accepted that all DV is PTSD qualifying criteria.

When this happened, you started therapy, right? Not before?

Reason I ask is they are not, to my knowledge, in therapy, but then again, they wouldn't necessarily disclose that to me. We're sort of like unable be be very close given this massive amnesia wall in the way.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top