barefoot
Diamond Member
So…I have thought for a while that I have ADHD - mainly the inattentive type, I think, but with aspects of hyperactivity and impulsivity.
I spoke to my GP and she has referred me, but it’s going to be 3+ years wait on NHS, so I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for a private assessment as it is causing a lot of stress and challenges, especially in my work.
Part of me wants to book an appt asap and get it done so I know what’s what and can then move forward with that knowledge and any potential treatment plan.
But I also feel some anxiety and resistance. Mainly due to the following, I think:
- if I get an assessment, I will either get a diagnosis of ADHD or they will decide I don’t have it. Both of these options would be stressful, I think, and require some emotional processing! I am already finding it difficult not getting caught up in thoughts around which would be the ‘better’ outcome and what I should therefore say. Intellectually, I understand that the best outcome would be the accurate one! But there is a loud part of my brain already trying to work out what I should/shouldn’t say and how that might influence them. And having that thought makes me feel manipulative, which creates more stress!
- I guess there is also a third option: I may get diagnosed with something else. And I feel extremely fearful about that prospect.
- I’m very anxious about seeing a psychiatrist and (potentially) having a formal psychiatric diagnosis made and recorded on my medical files.
- It took me a long while to accept my therapist’s view that I have PTSD. A long time! (Because what happened wasn’t bad enough etc etc) But I guess, however I tried to argue it, I couldn’t ultimately deny the symptoms. But I think a lot of symptoms of ADHD/PTSD may overlap (eg procrastinating/avoidance) So, I am also worried that, if I get an ADHD diagnosis, I am going to end up more confused about historical trauma stuff…whether things my T has put down to trauma/PTSD (and I have now accepted as that) are now going to be explained by something else. So, I am worried it might cause confusion at best…and also potentially undo or undermine years of therapy if things can now be explained by something else. This aspect makes me feel stressed and teary. Something about maybe years of therapy has been based on the wrong things?! I don’t know…hard to describe the feeling about this…
For those of you who have both ADHD and PTSD - any insights/thoughts on any of the above?!
And a few more specific questions:
- How do you unpick what is ADHD and what is PTSD? And how does that inform what you do about it/how you manage things.
- I am really just looking to get an adult ADHD assessment, but I’m unsure whether/how to bring PTSD into the conversation. Do you think it’s important to do this? Or will it just confuse things?
I’m aware I’m over-thinking a lot, which is probably feeding the anxiety. But my brain is very busy with this! And it’s stirring up a lot of feelings. (Also aware that I’m getting ahead of myself seeing as I haven’t made an appointment yet, let alone received a diagnosis!)
I can talk to my T about some of this - but would feel awkward telling her that I’m worried an ADHD diagnosis would potentially impact how I felt about PTSD/our therapy.
Thanks for reading and for any thoughts.
I spoke to my GP and she has referred me, but it’s going to be 3+ years wait on NHS, so I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for a private assessment as it is causing a lot of stress and challenges, especially in my work.
Part of me wants to book an appt asap and get it done so I know what’s what and can then move forward with that knowledge and any potential treatment plan.
But I also feel some anxiety and resistance. Mainly due to the following, I think:
- if I get an assessment, I will either get a diagnosis of ADHD or they will decide I don’t have it. Both of these options would be stressful, I think, and require some emotional processing! I am already finding it difficult not getting caught up in thoughts around which would be the ‘better’ outcome and what I should therefore say. Intellectually, I understand that the best outcome would be the accurate one! But there is a loud part of my brain already trying to work out what I should/shouldn’t say and how that might influence them. And having that thought makes me feel manipulative, which creates more stress!
- I guess there is also a third option: I may get diagnosed with something else. And I feel extremely fearful about that prospect.
- I’m very anxious about seeing a psychiatrist and (potentially) having a formal psychiatric diagnosis made and recorded on my medical files.
- It took me a long while to accept my therapist’s view that I have PTSD. A long time! (Because what happened wasn’t bad enough etc etc) But I guess, however I tried to argue it, I couldn’t ultimately deny the symptoms. But I think a lot of symptoms of ADHD/PTSD may overlap (eg procrastinating/avoidance) So, I am also worried that, if I get an ADHD diagnosis, I am going to end up more confused about historical trauma stuff…whether things my T has put down to trauma/PTSD (and I have now accepted as that) are now going to be explained by something else. So, I am worried it might cause confusion at best…and also potentially undo or undermine years of therapy if things can now be explained by something else. This aspect makes me feel stressed and teary. Something about maybe years of therapy has been based on the wrong things?! I don’t know…hard to describe the feeling about this…
For those of you who have both ADHD and PTSD - any insights/thoughts on any of the above?!
And a few more specific questions:
- How do you unpick what is ADHD and what is PTSD? And how does that inform what you do about it/how you manage things.
- I am really just looking to get an adult ADHD assessment, but I’m unsure whether/how to bring PTSD into the conversation. Do you think it’s important to do this? Or will it just confuse things?
I’m aware I’m over-thinking a lot, which is probably feeding the anxiety. But my brain is very busy with this! And it’s stirring up a lot of feelings. (Also aware that I’m getting ahead of myself seeing as I haven’t made an appointment yet, let alone received a diagnosis!)
I can talk to my T about some of this - but would feel awkward telling her that I’m worried an ADHD diagnosis would potentially impact how I felt about PTSD/our therapy.
Thanks for reading and for any thoughts.