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Advice needed: going to the police/disclosing to family

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Hi everyone, I really need some advice.

I was sexually abused when I was really young. I know for sure I was abused when I was 3, 4, and 5 because of certain events that happened around my few memories of the abuse, but believe the abuse could have started when I was 2 and ended when I was 6. My abuser was a neighbor who would sometimes babysit my siblings and I because my parents often couldn't take care of us. My family moved when I was 7 and I hadn't seen him since. I kept quiet about the abuse for most of my life until I started to become dysfunctional as a young adult. I had never wanted to look my abuser up, I didn't even know how to correctly spell his name because I didn't know how to read or write yet when I knew him. All that time, I just imagined him dead because knowing he existed, especially still in the city that I lived in, was too much for me.

As part of my recovery I wanted to start volunteering for the largest rape-crisis organization in my city. This organization had a small program that had volunteers travel to schools to do sexual assault awareness and prevention education. There were only 12 other volunteers in that program, and my abuser was one of them. I could no longer pretend like he didn't exist. Apparently he had been working there for 10+ years and was one of the senior volunteers for their education program. The organization immediately fired him, but I know his other jobs are working with underprivileged children (just like I was). The organization put me in contact with a pro bono lawyer because in the moment I was thinking about legal action. I really didn't want to go to court, but wanted there to be a report so that if anyone else went in to report him they'd have something else on file to make their case stronger. My lawyer basically scared me into not going to the police. She said once I tell the police, it is completely up to them to decide whether or not it goes to court. If it does go to court then I would make myself vulnerable all over again and I honestly don't know if I could handle it. However, I can't stand the idea that he might still be abusing children. I don't know what to do.

My other dilemma involves one of my brothers who is about a year and a half older than me. We're on very bad terms, I only see/talk to him once or twice a year because of family events but otherwise would probably go the rest of my life without talking to him. He has severe bipolar disorder, and being the sibling closest in age to him growing up, it affected me a lot to the point where I can't have his toxicity in my life anymore. When I was considering going to the police, I started to think about if I had any evidence of my abuse. I realized how great the possibility is that he was abused too or at least knew of my abuse. The problem is, because of his disorder, he has a terrible memory and the memories he does have aren't reliable at all. I'm not sure if I should try and disclose to him my abuse or ask him if he was abused because I don't if he can handle it. But maybe it could help him in the long run?
 
Welcome to the forum..... That was a very brave first post, so give yourself a huge pat on the back for being that open and that brave....

@anythingbutcalm All I can suggest to you is this.... Do what you feel that you need to do to protect the other children that this creep is around. You’ve done an amazing job already. Just remember that even if you do go to the police, it can go 2 ways, he’ll either be found out and tried or he won’t. But, it may give you some kind of closure doing what you need to do.

I hope the bastards gets his no matter which way to go... And thank you for standing up to yet one more of these dirtbags in the world....
 
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