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Advice to stand up for myself

Discussion in 'Employment, Education & Disability' started by CT_Girl, Apr 17, 2018.

  1. CT_Girl

    CT_Girl Member

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    One of my coworkers got in my personal space last week at work. i was testing something (I'm an electrician) and on the phone with someone from tech support who was telling me how to test this equipment. So this coworker that I've never seen before and I don't know his name, started fiddling with random buttons on the equipment I was testing, without telling me. What he did was unsafe and disrespectful, since he basically had to brush my hands out of the way, to fiddle with the equipment I was trying to test.Plus I had to stay very polite and focused with the tech support guy on the phone. How do I deal with a situation like this, next time it comes up? I called in sick the day after but obviously I can not call in sick each time someone acts like this. How do I stand up for myself if this happens again?
     
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  3. Still Standing

    Still Standing I'm a VIP

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    I'd stick his fingers in a live socket next time he seems to have a need to fiddle where he has not been invited to do so!!! :hungover: Sorry. I couldn't resist that. If you have to work with this guy, it would be better for you to simply speak up. Tell him that next time he wants to involve himself in something that you are actively working on, he is to ask your permission. It is common courtesy. You will do the same for him. "If we are to work together, we need to have some ground rules (no pun intended) so we don't jeopardize each other's work". If you do not state the conditions for working with this guy, he will do this again. He will think you have no problem with it. Running away from the problem is not going to help at all. You can be upset and emotional about it, feeling like a victim, or you can use your voice and stand up for yourself. If you don't, who is?
     
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  4. Justmehere

    Justmehere Help support myPTSD - more info in Social forum Moderator Premium Member

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    I’d ask the tech guy on the phone to please hold, then I’d put the phone on mute and talk to him about when to jump in without permission and when not to jump in.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
  5. Neverthesame

    Neverthesame A Mind The Dead Have Ravaged Premium Member Donated

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    I'd put the tech guy on hold or apologise and arrange to call them back, as something has come up that needs my immediate attention.

    Then I'd say something along the lines of "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? I just had to interrupt an important call because of you. If you need something to do, go pound sand."

    Mind you, conflict isn't really an issue for me. It's been my experience, people like that need to be heeled right away, or you'll likely be putting up with their shit for months.
     
  6. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    The avionics mech used to regularly threaten me with death and dismemberment if I so much as LOOKED at their equipment while they were using it. :eek:

    I’m mechanically inclined, moving parts make sense to me... but electronics? Pfft. Forget about it! Basic, common place, “this is a hammer” level stuff regarding anything electrical? Completely beyond me. Someone can explain “this is a hammer, you hit things with it” and everything they’ve just said or demonstrated sort of slides across my brain, out an ear, and down a shoulder to puddle on the floor. (Causing the electrical thingy to short out :bag: ). Seriously. It just doesn’t parse. I can USE tech, but there is no way on planet earth I can maintain it / troubleshoot it / repair it.

    I’m the electrical equivalent of the f*cking moron who stuck his hand IN a running engine :facepalm: I don’t know what’s dangerous. For myself or others. So before I was called on the carpet about it, I did a lot of really screwed up / wrong / don’t do that! kinds of things.

    Someone like me walks up and starts f*cking around with your stuff? Threaten them with death & dismemberment. Truly. It works. It sometimes needs repeating (at one point I was reaching for something and Avionics threatened to rip my arm off and beat me to death with it...oh. Right. Okay. I’ll be over here, then.), but it does work. some of us just have thicker skulls than others.
     
  7. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

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    this!! *^^^^^
    I have a strange effect on computers. I kill them. No one knows why, but it's happened since day one. some of the tech folks love me because I provide a challenge and some hate me because they have to figure out what I've done.

    Now picture this...I'm in a 911 center. I have two big computer things under the desk, 6 screens with 4 to 6 windows open on each one on the desktop, a computerized phone system and a computerized radio system. And I'm a tech moron.. And did I mention ...911. Where computers shouldn't fail. (they do all the damn time but I digress).

    They always ask me -- what were you doing when the computer broke? What where you typing. yea - right. I type in code at about 90 wpm, I have no idea what key stroke upset the stupid system. But I hated having to call them so for a short time I tried to problem solve. A very short time. Then it was decided that i was to touch nothing. NOTHING! If they computer freaked out I was to have the supervisor page the tech guys and touch nothing!!!! LOL -- it was beaten into my head.

    So why the long story??

    Because people screwing around with this kind of system can take down a 911 center. And my tech folks had NO problem telling people - Touch Nothing. Sometimes they were polite and sometimes they weren't. But they usually only had to say it once. And god help any of us who interrupted them while they were on the phone with someone at tech central or space central or whoever they call.

    So don't be afraid to speak up. Try it politely. If that doesn't work put the phone on hold and speak clearly and distinctly.
    Go.Away. You are NOT helping. Don't let wanting to be non confrontational hurt you or someone else.
     
  8. benoit1972

    benoit1972 New Member

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    I often also take the passive way out of situations just because I’m mature enough not to indulge idiocy. I often find myself obsessing over word exchanges hours or even days after it happens. In the grand scheme of things the path of least resistance is usually the least stressful, engaging into a pissing contest you’ll increase the likelihood of flipping that switch which usually doesn’t end up good for those of us who easily trigger into fight/flight mode (as I’m sure you already know)

    Stand up for yourself while keeping your emotions in check and keep it professional, short, and to the point. Having an objective third party to mediate is always helpful too. I’m new here so I’m sure not qualified to give advice, but I can relate to your frustration.

    Best of luck
     
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