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Afraid to get examined

Discussion in 'Medical' started by Sweetleaf, Apr 4, 2018.

  1. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    I'm afraid to make this thread even.

    I have a medical issue with my genitals, it's probably not anything, but could be a big problem potentially. I don't really want to go into the nature of the problem. Not important. Too personal.

    My doctor set me up with the people to check it out, gave a reference/recommendation or whatever, but I never called them to set up an appointment. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Just thinking of being touched down there makes me start to feel nauseous, even if it's just a doctor, even if I am allowing it.

    What do I do? I don't want to let a medical issue become a bigger problem, but I also am so damn afraid of getting checked out. I know it will be triggering as f*ck, but I also know that I probably shouldn't wait, because it's probably going to be a long time before I stop being so triggered by that stuff.
     
    AngelkeeperJ/AKJ likes this.
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  3. LilyRose

    LilyRose Well-Known Member

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    You can tell the doc you have problems with it, And maybe take someone you trust with you to hold your hand or something?
     
    AngelkeeperJ/AKJ and Sweetleaf like this.
  4. Bristol

    Bristol Warrior Donated

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    Ive been going through something for the last few months that has involved really personal tests but i try to tell myself that im not going to let the past control my future, telling myself over and over that doctors are different and most of all lots of rewards for after which make me feel safe and comfortable no matter how childish they seem.

    Doctors are understanding, i only get as far as saying “i had a tough childhood” but they know exactly what to do and how to help.
     
  5. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    I was going to call her sometime soon over some other stuff (curious about blood test results and I have some other medical stuff I want to get checked out). I do plan on telling her about my fear of the examination.

    In regards to taking someone with me, there is nobody in my life like that. I have my mom and sister but wouldn't want them to be there.

    Thank you, this makes me feel better.

    It's not even been 4 months since I freed myself from my abuser. It's so hard to make myself do these things. Even having my knees checked out was hard. The reward idea sounds pretty good actually, now that I think of it, lol. Childish but if it helps, it helps.
     
  6. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    Ask your GP for a benzo to get through the appointment.
     
  7. Boudicca1969

    Boudicca1969 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    I'm like you Sweetleaf I'm also terrified of intimate medical exams. For exactly the same reason too. And I too am only a few months out of a very abusive relationship too. I can't really offer any advice that's better than what Bristol or Eve have offered you but I just wanted to offer my support validation and understanding really and a (((hug))) if you want it. Bless ya B xx
     
  8. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    I have a diazepam prescription but it's definitely not strong enough to get me through it, at least if I follow the dosage on the prescription. I suppose taking several might work. Sometimes my anxiety/panic just sitting at home is high enough that taking diazepam only takes the edge off and I still have to struggle not to panic.

    Would it be a bad idea to ask for a single-usage of a more powerful benzo? I feel so nervous asking about that sort of shit.
     
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  9. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    @Boudicca1969 I'm sorry that you had to deal with similar things, but thank you for making me feel less alone.
    :hug:
     
  10. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    I would ask. I know they say that it sometimes look like drug seeking when you ask for a benzo, but you are asking for a single dose in order to get through a medical procedure. I think that most docs would be reasonable and give it to you. Maybe klonopin? I found it to be stronger. Of course your doc will be able to advise you on what would work best. Good luck!
     
  11. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    Okay so, she wants to set me up with a clinic that can do it that will be more of a safe setting, and I'll take benzos an hour before. Even thinking about it makes me start to panic. When she sent the text saying she was going to set that up, if I was okay with moving forward with it, I just sat there and stared at it for a few minutes with my heart racing pretty much in a frozen panic. I got my shit together enough to reply.

    Later today I'll find out more.
     
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  12. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

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    Ask for an advocate to come with you. The clinic can find you one, or you can call either the YWCA or a dv hotline. They have trained volunteers on staff for this kind of thing. It's way more common than you think
     
    Sweetleaf likes this.
  13. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

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    @Freida that is a good suggestion, and maybe it would be helpful, but I feel like having less people there would be better for me.

    She called today. She's going to give me a few xanax for it. My pdoc knows the people who run the clinic, and is going to call ahead and let them know that I have trauma that makes it difficult to do that sort of thing.

    Now I just have to call them and set up an appointment. Shaking just thinking about it.
     
    Freida likes this.
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