After a “flashback” do you feel more present day...

[Widow_of_one]

I have been having intense “emotional flashbacks” for about 2 years now. And I honestly feel better. I can set boundaries now whereas before boundaries were a mystery to me!
I wanted to ask everyone: what good things have come out of having flashbacks??

 

[Friday]

I wanted to ask everyone: what good things have come out of having flashbacks??

For myself; nada.

 

[Widow_of_one]

For myself; nada.

Really? So sorry!!
When I first started having fbs nearly 30 years ago I noticed that the odd feeling I felt when I would get into the shower had diminished. Remeber that song “I always feel that somebodies watching me”! It was gone within 5-7 years.
More recently I’ve noticed an ebbing in my anxiety level and I am more capable of asserting myself in a conversation!!

 

[lil_fighter]

Whenever I was interrupted in conversation, the person would cut in while I was talking and my mind would go blank. I would struggle to think of what I had been saying and spend a while saying "erm, erm...what was I saying?" I would become anxious because I knew what was about to happen. The longer I stood there with my mind blank, desperately trying to think of what I was saying - the flashback would happen. It was always the same flashback. Being in the woods...I could visualise the trees and the crunchy leaves on the ground, me kneeling on the leaves and letting out a scream for help. I could see the light shining through the green trees and could feel a horrible presence standing behind me. This impending sense of doom, knowing what was about to happen.

These days, the same thing happens sometimes but nowhere near as frequent as before. Now I am more able to keep talking, ignore the person who is trying to cut into what I am saying and what I do is I get louder to drown them out. As if to say "I am saying my piece and I don't want you to stop me, please wait until I have finished talking?" I get a bit louder and stick with what I was saying or I may repeat the sentence again and start from the beginning. I really focus on the words I am saying and the person's face (the person I am talking to). I ground myself and I am conscious of my feet on the floor beneath me. I try my best to not go quiet and let my mind wander. So far, it works well. My mum always cuts in when I talk and there are the odd occasions where my mind does go blank and the flashback starts up again but for the most part I am much better. I also think it is about assertiveness and about saying my piece. Having my voice heard 🙂

 

[Friday]

Now I am more able to keep talking, ignore the person who is trying to cut into what I am saying and what I do is I get louder to drown them out.

LMFAO... Oh, that’s so funny! The differences in people are just delightful, aren’t they? :D

I’m the opposite. Someone pulls that on me? I AM TALKING I never talk to them again. I usually don’t continue listening or standing there from the moment it happens. We’re done, through, finis, & f*ck off. Or, if I reeeeeeally wanna be friends with them, I can just punch them in the face. But most people aren’t worth coming to blows over. Shrug.

Very divergent solutions, quite probably coming from a similar sort of experience / being silenced. >>> You don’t tolerate interruptions, meanwhile I don’t mind people talking over each other, interrupting, interjecting, lively discourse/debate; but absolutely do not tolerate one person demanding everyone else STFU and listen to them... unless it’s a speaker addressing a crowd, applying order to chaos kind of thing.

I just think it’s super interesting how people span the spectrum of situation/response.

 

[Sideways]

This is truly strange to me.

What I got from flashbacks? Memories I didn't want, of things I wish hadn't happened. And getting to relive it, over and over. Sucked. I got to learning how important grounding was, and I can be pretty pro at grounding now. Beyond that? Could've done without the flashbacks.

Self concept work to recover from my trauma, though? Getting a whole lot out of that.

Like if someone starts talking over me? I just stop talking. They obviously aren't listening, so we weren't really having a conversation anyways. Kind of appreciate the heads up if they interrupt me - saves me using emotional energy where it's clearly being wasted!

 

[mumstheword]

I sometimes talk over people. It's one of the shittier evidences of my Autism brain. I'm not good at social cues, social protocols, the social "dance"

I can be very socially clumsy and inept. It doesn't come from not respecting the other though or rude disregard for what they are saying, it's my overfiring brain, my condition-induced oxytocin deficiency and a childlike expression where I just blurt out whatever's on my mind, in the moment.

I work hard to cultivate good listening habits and I die a little inside when I'm mindlessly "rude" by interrupting and I am very, VERY repentant and guilty feeling and hard on myself when I do it and it causes offence and upset.

Sometimes I even cry when my guy friend angrily pulls me up for it and I'm very sorry, but he is an Aspie too and he does it to me and my kid, especially when he's cranky or frustrated with us.

He has a brain injury and can easily lose his thread of thought when interrupted and he HATES it. But he loves me and forgives me because he knows I never do it out of disrespect, just lack of mindfulness and the habit of Aspie individuals to take a VERY long time to mature.

It's embarrassing, being socially awkward and forgetful of social protocols. Humiliating. So it would be lovely if people could be patient and forgiving coz I'm really a big child in a middle age woman's body.

An up side of Aspergers and I've talked to lots on line that have this in common, we tend to look a lot younger to go with our younger internals. I'm nearly 48 but someone said I looked 35 the other day.

Yay for silver linings.🙂☺🙃😋