After session is there is always something that wasn't said?


Does anyone, especially those with did/parts find that once the session is over there is always something that wasn't said. And the need for her to know the missing information becomes almost an obsession with some parts until we hear from her or time passes until the next time.
I have many parts that make up whoever I am. Some of them demand for things to remain the same in all settings and get very upset when they don't. They are extremely rigid. So when we didn't get to tell our T because time ran out and it's the loudest time for every one of them. I don't know if I make any sense. Just curious what other people do


You could let each of your parts have their say as you write it down. Read the full list to your therapist at the start of your next session no matter how contradicting some statements may be. You can create safe places for your littles to go to. I’ve done some of that in Emdr. If a part is very strong willed, I may ask T for a phone call, but my T is open to that. (not all of them are).

Is your T a specialist in DID, parts or trauma?


I would also add that many tines my homework for the week was to write down anything that didn't get said, mostly because I was so spaced out and dissociated that I couldn't articulate my thoughts and/or because some/a certain part talked more than others and so the others didn't get to contribute.
I think you could make that a routine. After your session, for everyone to wrote down what didn't get said.
At the beginning of every session I read my journaling for the week and responses to prompts.


When I was having therapy regularly, for the longest time, the most interesting part of the session was the drive home.

It was as if everything I never even knew I wanted to say, everything that was amorphous and out of reach in session, was sudden brought into stunning and perfect detail & clarity. After I left.

2 things changed to end rhat;

I started taking midsession breaks, & I started coming back for a follow up appointment the day after next.


I don’t have DID/parts but, a bit like @Friday, I frequently process a lot right after the session. So, often on the train home (unless I was dissociated), I would get clarity on things I wanted to say or would have questions I wanted to ask or whatever and I would totally wish I could go right back in to pick it up again. It’s frustrating.

It would feel so torturous in that moment - really knowing what I wanted to express but now I had to wait a week or a fortnight to get a chance to say it. And that just felt soooo long to wait. Because it would feel so urgent in that moment. But then, by the time I went back in for a session a week or two later, the moment had sort of passed and the impetus to say what had felt so important after the previous session had waned. So, often, I didn’t end up ever saying it.

A similar thing still happens though we have only met online for almost a year. Now, I tend to journal after sessions. Then, I re-read that journal entry just before I get on the call with her the next session. And, even if the heat and urgency of it has died down, I will still often say something about what I captured after the last sentence. Sometimes I just say a couple of sentences about it and that feels enough. Other times, it opens up and we have a juicy discussion around it. So, I’m finding that approach helpful at the moment.

Does your T allow emails between sessions?

For a few months early on in our work together - I was in crisis mode really - I saw her twice a week. 90 mins on Tuesday and 60 mins on Thursday. The Tuesday session we’d generally deep dive into goo. The second was a bit more of a follow up - a sort of lighter session where we talked about the last session and how I’d been done/what had come up for me around it etc. It was really useful at that point. But expensive!


This is normal imo. I used to have to call the therapist when I was driving home. She taught me that I opened up a little then pulled back. Then I was trying to say things and I would forget or block them out. Once she told me I had a habit of beating around the bush the whole session then dropping a bomb on her at the very end. It’s all part of the process and it takes a long time. You sound like you are doing well.


For the first 5 years with my current trauma T, I'd email him whenever something major came up that either missed the session, or couldn't wait for the next session. He almost never responded more than a sentence or two, but I needed that outlet and was so grateful he allowed it. Now, he's gone to a group and emails are more sporadic (also, online therapy and the fact that we're on 8 years together now). I can still email major events/issues, or text in emergencies, but at this point, I just wait for next session.