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Am I Just Meant to Endure the Pain?

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Awakening

MyPTSD Pro
I don't get it. I really don't.

Am I just meant to feel depressed, anxious, suicidal & put up with it? Is that part of 'healing'?

Because I've been that way for 2 years. Not consistently, but it seems to be getting even worse the closer I come to talking about my 'traumas'.

Is it just bad luck, welcome to the world of ptsd, you are gonna feel like crap, you are going to feel even worse then you have ever felt.

I have good days, okay days but the bad days come around every week. I feel I'm running out of strength to keep fighting this thing.

Is this the way it's going to be? Is there anyway at all to relieve some of the intensity between sessions with my therapist?

Should I be calling a doctor, a therapist, what?

I am so over it, and very very tired.
 
I can very much relate to your feelings. I think IMHO that most of us with PTSD feel that way sometimes. I don't even pretend to have any answers but I can share with you some stuff that I have learned about living with PTSD:

1.) I make mental notes of the good times I have when I'm experiencing really intense emotions so that I don't give up trying.
2.) Regardless of how hard it is, IMHO the process of healing is something that makes one a better person.
3.) I don't think when people say its going to be hell they mean make it a goal to live in hell. The goal is for things to get better. Its just a very long, arduous, and many times intense road to follow.

I hope you find some relief soon. I'm with you and I understand your feelings.
(((((Hugs)))))) if OK.

Marilyn S.
 
HI Awakening,

I think that what you are going through is so normal. Yes, sucks too, but normal....It's hard, it hurts, it's scary, and we just want to run, or stuff it someplace in our heads that our thoughts can't reach. My favorite say, "You can run, but you can't hide." It will eventually find you and then it's worse. It's almost like while you suppressed it, it grew bigger.

So even though you feel like crap, know that you will probably feel even crappier when you get to the trauma part. It does get better, but you only get out of therapy, what you put into it. IMHO..

Hugs,

Wendy
 
Awakening....i think most of us would think and feel this way! Talking to your therapist helps but we have to do it on our time and we have to understand this disorder. I think coming here between appts is very beneficial. Helped me from re-scheduling an appt last week, thought I needed to go sooner, came here instead, worked for me.
 
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