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Am I over reacting? When to say enough!

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What is holding you back from consulting with another therapist and seeing if other types of therapy will meet your needs better?

Lots of things really... one besides all my complaining here I really like my therapist. Deapite not knowing a huge amount about her I think we have a lot of the same values and sense of humour. She has also helped me in many many ways as I’ve said. I have also invested a huge amount of time, effort and money. The thought of starting over with someone new and attempting to build up that level of trust again makes me winch..not to mind the financial side of it I think that I would rather just stop completely.
 
It sounds - to me - that you are doing some good work together.

One alternative to quitting or switching Ts is looking at complementary modalities. My psydoc is my main T and I see her weekly. As I don’t have a lot of memories - other than those that show up as flashbacks, dissociation and panic attacks - her psychodynamic and somatic approach is helping unravel them. She puts a very strong emphasis on teaching me to soothe my body rather than rely on her. It’s very empowering and I think helps combat transference issues.

I still see my referring psychologist but in an equine T setting - her focus (I think) is more CBT oriented which didn’t help when I had no idea what my triggers were about but does help when talking about current stuff. Every 2-4 weeks depending on schedule.

I also do TS yoga - as recommended by my equine T. Ugh. Very difficult BUT it means I have yet another person on my team and that really helps. I also have a great GP.

Best wishes to you.
 
It sounds - to me - that you are doing some good work together.

One alternative to quitting or switching Ts is looking at complementary modalities. My psydoc is my main T and I see her weekly. As I don’t have a lot of memories - other than those that show up as flashbacks, dissociation and panic attacks - her psychodynamic and somatic approach is helping unravel them. She puts a very strong emphasis on teaching me to soothe my body rather than rely on her. It’s very empowering and I think helps combat transference issues.

I still see my referring psychologist but in an equine T setting - her focus (I think) is more CBT oriented which didn’t help when I had no idea what my triggers were about but does help when talking about current stuff. Every 2-4 weeks depending on schedule.

I also do TS yoga - as recommended by my equine T. Ugh. Very difficult BUT it means I have yet another person on my team and that really helps. I also have a great GP.

Best wishes to you.
Yes, that is part of my problem. I don’t know what my triggers are so I don’t think methods like CBT would be helpful for me. I’ve tried NLP which has some (I know not the same) similarities and it didn’t help at all as I have no access to my memories and was (and still am to some extent although getting better) to my emotions. Mindfulness and yoga have definitely helped compliment me. It’s tough as she has been helpful and I have made progress but the pain I’ve had to endure relating to the relationship itself has been very very tough and has reached a peak of enough pain already
 
One doesn’t have to know what triggers them to be benefited by CBT.

DBT uses a lot of mindfulness techniques and is usually done as an adjunct treatment to individual therapy.

You are correct. I guess I dissociated at the drop of a hat or had flashbacks (that I dissociated through) that morphed into panic attacks and they were getting worse and worse. This only ever happened in session. I pretty much can’t recall 6 months of sessions. And I had no memory of “trauma”. Turns out I actually just have no memory ;)

CBT didn’t help to unravel those although it was definitely helpful in identifying stuff that was going on in my life currently.
 
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I have also invested a huge amount of time, effort and money.
But you have the gains you made. Doing something different with someone else wont take them away somehow, You also sound like you are now actively stuck in an unhelpful and painful pattern in t which exactly reflects the type of t you are having. Which makes it more difficult to get past as its not about the t changing tack. She cant because this is ger type of therapy. Doing more therapy that isnt helping you now is more likely to be a waste of money. You aren't going to be starting at the beginning

think that I would rather just stop completely.
This is very black and white. I know its scary and especially when you are attached and struggling at present but you have no idea how something else could help.

I don’t know what my triggers are so I don’t think methods like CBT would be helpful for me.
It doesn't work like that actually. In fact DBT really helps connect things I find. Some find that is the case with CBT although personally CBT didnt work for me. If you can clearly list the things that are happening for you now and what doesn't help you then it will be easier to figure out what would be best.

But the other alternative is a therapist who uses a combination of styles. Even maybe one of them being one of the psychodynamic/psychoanalytic spectrum. Then it allows them to be more interactive rather than leaving that void. If they a combination then it doesn't feel the same. Suspect from what MyWillow says that hers fits that. There is at least an addition of somatic therapy and she has sounded pretty interactive.

Do you think this preoccupation you have developed around your t is possibly the main thing stopping you considering leaving her? Your attachment to her. Sometimes that waiting to be loved, which sounds like it is transference, is a replay and you can become stuck waiting and waiting. In a situation that cannot by its very nature give you what you want.
 
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But you have the gains you made. Doing something different with someone else wont take them away somehow, You also sound like you are now actively stuck in an unhelpful and painful pattern in t which exactly reflects the type of t you are having. Which makes it more difficult to get past as its not about the t changing tack. She cant because this is ger type of therapy. Doing more therapy that isnt helping you now is more likely to be a waste of money. You aren't going to be starting at the beginning
This is true. I guess I really just never thought I would be in therapy this long. I do see it as an investment but I was hoping that I would be able to stop therapy in the next year (despite not wanting to leave my T) but it feels like if I started again it would be another long slog.
Do you think this preoccupation you have developed around your t is possibly the main thing stopping you considering leaving her? Your attachment to her.
Yes, my attachment to her is likely part of the reason I don’t want to leave but not completely. As I say I have made lots of progress with her. She hears me on many levels and has shown herself willing to adapt at various times so I hold out hope that this is one of those times and we will get through it and still progress and make positive changes. The pain however I’m not so sure of.

Sometimes that waiting to be loved, which sounds like it is transference, is a replay and you can become stuck waiting and waiting. In a situation that cannot by its very nature give you what you want.
I fear this is exactly it... I am waiting.... waiting to be loved by her... in reality I know this can’t or won’t happen but I guess it’s the crux of it all when it boils down to it.
 
Just as a follow up.. Had my appointment today. Spoke about a lot of things I’ve mentioned above with my T. Agreed I have made some good progress but that I would need to assess the pain I seem to keep experiencing is worth it and ultimately that decision is up to me. I have decided to take a break until after the holidays to reassess things. Not great timing and I know that will not be easy but ..ho hum... the world will keep turning
 
Try and take it as a positive sign that maybe the type of support and therapy you originally needed no longer seems to be bringing the benefits that it originally delivered. This is a sign that you’ve made real, measurable progress in your recovery, right?

That’s not to say that the work is done and this is as good as it gets, it’s simply an indication that maybe you’re ready for something different, either as a supplement to, or instead of, your current therapy regime.

That’s definitely reason to be positive. Take it easy on yourself over the break:)
 
Thats brave. I think a moment out can bring a lot of perspective. I hope it does for you. Maybe think of listing what you would like to work on in the next phase of recovery. Then you can explore what would best help you achieve that. And give yourself a big pat on your back for all you have accomplished.
 
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