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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Silent000" data-source="post: 1721281" data-attributes="member: 50345">Hi. Ever since I have been diagnosed with PTSD my worst nightmare was reaching a point where I don't care about anything. Am just tired of this pain am tired of these depression and tired of everything. These is too painful. I tried to sell naked pictures of  myself online, just so I could feel Worthy. Am 27 years of age...am not married and Don't have kids. I have a whole degree and yet it is useless....I should be settling into my adult life and yet am scared leaving the house.I know that the people who did this to me can't get to me but I feel like everyone knows that I was sexually assaulted and raped and they are morking me. I feel like the next rapist is around the corner waiting for me.My Christian therapist told me that " am a sinner and that is why all this bad things happened to me and will continue to happen and that for as long as I don't repent, confess my sins". What chance do I really have of surving these, do I even have a chance. I feel useless ,dirty and unloveble. These people stole 7 years of my life from me. I have no one. I don't have any friends and well my family their just there. I tried to avoid any substance with regards to my depression but I think it's time to self medicate or else something bad will end up happening.Lately I have been having all this thoughts of inflicting pain on my self and it's scary. I really don't know what to do....I have left my therapist but his words keep haunting me. How will I even begin seeking help again?? I can't even handle writting these because I am in tears</blockquote>

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