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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rosebud" data-source="post: 1721328" data-attributes="member: 1418">As a Christian I think your T is crazy,  at least ignorant of understanding, and not trauma-informed. Being victimized and re-enacting it, or trying to deal with abuse, self-blame and shame needs healing, which I'm sure God wants for you. If God is all-loving and all-merciful I really doubt (S)He's out to cause you more grief.  Rather, you need compassion and tools. I am very sorry. Talk about feeling unheard and misunderstood. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😢" title="Crying face    :cry:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.0/png/unicode/64/1f622.png" data-shortname=":cry:" /> That is like secondary wounding.There is a saying, 'What is the difference between God and a Dr?' And the answer is, 'God doesn't think He's a Doctor'. In this case that might apply. Your T may be well meaning, but if you want to self harm in response it's not working well for you (I don't think it would for anyone).Welcome to you.</blockquote>