An irreverent look how my PTSD treatment is going so far.

[DogTired]

GP (Doctor) first. I know nothing about PTSD, but come back and see me next week.

Agency One.
First "therapist" I've seen since the late 1980's, (no one told me he wasn't registered), a bit weird, and was regularly upsetting me big time, but he's history now.

Agency Two.
A trainee psychologist. Straight "out of the book" treatment only never asked what put me into the state I'm in now.
Always talking about window frames. Was I under them, above them, or diving through them. (Eh???)
Finally I lost it and asked if I should put my unicorn back into it's box or gouge it's eyes out.
Apparently that one is taking an extended leave of absence.

Agency Three.
Then I had Mr. Creative. "Do I journal". YES I DO. So rewrite your thoughts out again and give them all a happy ending. (WTH!)
He's dropped out when I read out one of the nightmares with a REALLY nasty ending and invited him to rewrite the ending.

Which leaves my SWMBO. (Way cheaper than the others)
My lovely wife who has got me out, talking to others, Going shopping ALONE, and finally answering the phone.
There is more to come as she knows just how to "manipulate me" into trying out things I used to do when I was the old me.

Hang on, I forgot the dog. (A lot more expensive on treats)
Who takes me for walks and when I switch off, protects me until I wake up again.
Always there when I have bad dreams at night when she wakes me up with a face wash.

Bottom line? The "official route" is talking to each other at last and a more targeted treatment path is being arranged.
Which sounds great, but after what has happened so far, I'm looking at it like I would a politicians promise.

 

[arfie]

seems like you forgot the most important agent in this irreverent review.

agency 6, the patient.
what is his contribution?

i am guessing that swmbo is agency four and poochy pooh is agency five.

 

[DogTired]

The patient? He keeps the mugs full, the carpets swept, and the garden free of rats.
Got to love the winter. Out come the rats from all the garden sheds around us to look for food. Meanwhile an update (official guess) when I'll get to see a real shrink.
4 to 7 months. (UK politics permitting).

 

[Lost in the Woods]

My treatment is going very well, much better than expected, once we knew what we were dealing with. I have a rare neurological condition that I have been dealing with for the past 23 years. I have seen maybe 2 dozen neurologists during that time and only 1 has seen another patient with it. There is a cognitive component to it so when I complained about things that we now know were PTSD they all thought it was just my brain rotting. I did too. During those years I had neuropsych evaluations every 2 or 3 years and none picked up on it. One evaluation by the Mayo Clinic actually ruled out PTSD which I found interesting because no one ever asked me about my childhood. Anyway, 6 months ago a therapist figured it out. Two weeks later my wife told me we had to live apart. Since then I have dived in. I leave no stone un turned and I often bring things to the professionals’ attention that have brought extremely positive results fast. Since I started really diving in I have had 10 medical professionals confirm that PTSD is the main problem and my neuro condition may actually be very mild. To me, this is amazing, I get a second chance at life and I am not wasting it. I can’t begin to explain what those 23 years were like. No matter how bad it was at any moment I always knew it was going to get worse. I had actually seriously considered medical assisted death in Belgium. My mother had committed suicide and I didn’t want that legacy for my kids. My thinking on this is that in Belgium there is a requirement that 2 physicians review the situation and approve. I thought this would help my kids understand it wasn’t any fault of their’s. It is amazing how wrong everyone was including myself. In hindsight, it was so obvious, text book symptoms, but no one saw it. I feel like the luckiest guy on earth, I had a death sentence commuted. I am not wasting this amazing opportunity for the future.

 

[Friday]

Irreverence? Is good. It speaks to both intelligence AND …whimsy? (Passion, Curiosity, Sfrength, etc.). Without both? Pfft. Lost. Meat grind. Grist. Cannon fodder. Statistics.

What happens after that? Either HELPS, or? Is seriously f*cked up & lacking. Or trying their damndist & simply sucking.

If they suck, but are trying hard? Good for them. They’ll get there… eventually. Maybe. But how that helps you? Not at all. Unless you own a Time Machine. (In which case? Gimme!). Finding someone who WILL be good, in 10 or 20 years) does not obligate you to see them through. Life will do that. Or not. For now? Find “them” 20 years from now. Who can help. Instead of just wanting TO help.