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An orgasm during sexual abuse does not mean you liked it

Discussion in 'Articles' started by anthony, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

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    Lets bust open the facts about having an orgasm when being sexually abused. There is no one reason to this question, and in fact is most likely you fit several of the reasons as to why it happens. The below list is far from exhaustive.

    Lets look at the biggest reason people keep this a secret. Either they believe, or their abuser reinforces, "you must have liked it because you orgasmed." I won't deny that there can be some truth within that statement / thought, however; there is nothing to be ashamed of for what is a normal human bodily act.

    Orgasms during sexual abuse happen predominantly to males, than females, as a males stimulus is more physiological (touch) than females, which often requires emotion combined with physicality. To put it within perspective, roughly 4 in 5 males will orgasm during sexual abuse compared to 1 in 5 females.

    So lets get to the majority of reasons why the body orgasms.
    1. Physiology - mind and body create chemicals, push blood to our erogenous zones, stimulate us even if we don't want to be stimulated. Ever just felt horny with no real stimulus around you? We have very little control over this. Some women orgasm lots, some don't. Men will orgasm faster than women due to stimulus zones. Women often need oral / self stimulation prior to penetration for orgasm, where males don't. Anal stimulation will often cause both sexes to orgasm faster. There are some men and women who can literally orgasm on demand, as they deem fit.
    2. Evolution - society has been civilised far less than we have been cave man. The hunter / gatherer, domination of men over women and such history. It would be tough to meet a woman who hasn't had a rape fantasy (without regard for the obvious control of choice between the two acts). Does our heritage still play some unconscious role within being dominated by another during a sexual act? Enjoyment? A poll asked a US college audience of young women whether they would orgasm if raped by a good looking guy. The answer was a majority yes, even though they found the act of rape traumatic, they still had a primal instinct for domination by an attractive rapist as possibly enjoyable enough to orgasm.
    3. Time - given enough time for stimulation (foreplay), the body will orgasm. A person raped where time is not an issue, can often be stimulated to orgasm.
    Conclusion

    Within those points above there are further points as to why an orgasm occurs during rape. There are questions that may hurt to answer honestly. It is unlikely that its any one aspect for why a person orgasms during rape, and more likely that various factors are at play for that individual.

    What you should take away from this article is that keeping it a secret only continues to hurt you through fear and anxiety, and that the act of climax during sexual abuse does not mean you liked the act of rape, or your rapist. It just means you're human and that many factors were at play during the event.
     
    somerandomguy, Eagle3 and littleoc like this.
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  3. Amalia

    Amalia Active Member

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    i am a straight woman but caanot orgasm unless i imagine myself in the role of an abusive male.
    Help.
     
  4. Mach123

    Mach123 Well-Known Member Premium Member Donated

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    I am a straight male and I do something like that except I am a fem. (this is the way I understand it) It’s complicated to discover and explore these issues. Getting to what I just said in my own mind almost killed me. You’re not alone.
     
  5. angrypanda

    angrypanda Active Member

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    Orgasm was frequently used by my abusers as a control mechanism. My first remembered orgasm was at age 3. I feel this makes the shame of the abuse even more difficult took deal with, not to mention future sexual issues.
     
  6. Tigergirl1217

    Tigergirl1217 Member

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    This makes alot more sense why I still orgasmed when my flashback about a nurse who violated me while cathed as a young child would appear while masterbating… I know Im straight
     
  7. stillstanding2

    stillstanding2 Well-Known Member

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    I believe it can be a purely unwanted physiological reaction. I took care of my wife until her death from cancer. For more than a year of chemo, radiation, inability to walk, constant readjustments of medications, stress and depression, she had no interest in sex. When hospitalized for the final time, a nurse inserted a catheter and triggered an immediate orgasm. I asked the nurse about it in private, and she explained that she saw that happen as often as not.
     
  8. stillstanding2

    stillstanding2 Well-Known Member

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    Another thought related to my note above, and to Anthony’s reference to evolution is that autonomic responses such as muscle contractions, whether painful or pleasant, require tension. When your nurse catheterized you, she invaded an area packed with pleasure nerves, through you were probably very tense and apprehensive.
    What might have occurred could have been as automatic as a muscle cramp during a deep injection or puncture. I take prescribed intra-muscular injections which, unless I warm and consciously relax my thigh muscles, can very painfully cramp. But there are no pleasure nerves near my injection site. Only pain and pressure receptors.
    Since a catheter passes through a dense concentration of pleasure nerves (Meizner and Pacini corpuscles), it may easily trigger orgasmic contractions of your tense muscles. As they say, muscles have memories, and if you had such contractions when the nurse lubed and inserted the catheter, your muscles may have retained that memory, which you now equate to other orgasms. It is all natural.

    Regarding evolution: Particularly women’s intense, even repeated, orgasms probably partially evolved as a survival mechanism. Females developed the ability to tolerate multiple partners during times when there may have been a disproportionate number of stronger, aggressive males. Men needed fewer sex partners to relieve their aggression, and females could benefit from a selection of sperm contributions. The whole band of primates could benefit from sex as a means of keeping the peace and bonding.

    Is it possible that when your nurse “violated” you, she might have unintentionally triggered an ancient, natural but powerful response in you?

    I don’t know the circumstances, nor am I a physiologist or biologist, just a good reader trying to help if I can. Please forgive me if it seems I’ve further invaded your privacy.
     
  9. Snowflake

    Snowflake Well-Known Member

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    My therapist thinks I am stuck on a difficulty memory. She has asked me if I know why. I say I don’t . But I am afraid it’s because i haven’t admitted to being raped and having an orgasm.
     
    RoadtoHappy and Esterio like this.
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