Other Animal Abuse Triggers

Hatchling

New Here
I can 'handle' a great deal of trauma triggers of which I encounter several in any given week.

But anything even remotely dealing with animal neglect or outright abuse causes a deep and instant change in my sanity.

My body collapses. It feels like my inner core, my soul collapses. This morning when my beloved cat ran in a certain way, a horrific You tube video (that I tried to get banned) came instantly to my eyes.

My own cat was joyful in her running. The You tube cat most certainly was not.

The sobbing began instantly. I was wailing like the most important thing in my life had just been taken from me.

Within seconds, I recognized my precarious position and did my best to counteract it. I wandered the room as I sobbed, talking about everything that was present. The yellow curtain. The apple on the table. The smell of the cinnamon. The fact that, in spite of the horrors in my mind, I was safe, and home, and my animals were ok.
Yet, it took me a long time to stop sobbing. And I know this will happen again with other remembered horrors (it did just last week as I was knocking clumps of dirt from my garden shovel.)

I am finally back in therapy having been on a wait list for 9 months, and my therapist knows this is a big issue with me. I will talk to her tomorrow about this incident.
But it would certainly be good to hear from others who go through this.

I beg of you NOT to include any stories or specifics that would be triggering. Thank you.

😸😸
 
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arfie

MyPTSD Pro
hello hatchling. welcome to the forum.

i used to get uncontrollably angry over animal neglect and abuse. i have been guilty of abusing more than one pet owner on this score. alas, those efforts were thoroughly counter-productive and the toll they took on me, both physical and psychic, was even more counter-productive.

i still get quite emotional on the subject, but have learned how to channel my anger before i attempt to do anything about the situation at hand.

for what it's worth
i now believe that my extreme reactions were more projection than reality. my time with animals was the only place where i felt safe to even have emotions, so an entire bevy of bottled emotions exploded to the surface with this particular trigger.
 

Tinyflame

MyPTSD Pro
i think for me it comes to knowing they are defenseless and need/ deserve to be cared for. I have one memory that haunted me for a long time, but I have found both lies and truth in triggers. Sometimes I've leveled too much blame, or the wrong kind of blame at myself. Other times it is because I have not acted, and am pained not just at their suffering but at myself being powerless to prevent it, or not acting to prevent it. There's something inherently wrong with the action or justification of animal/ human cruelty, and I think that evokes fear +/or anger in most people.

But I have found a pattern too where I don't feel the justifiable anger or blame I should to people who have done such things to myself or my people or animals (in my world). I think it's the sheer fear of facing what that could mean, and also maybe minimizing traumas. Objectively I could say if I'm being honest I know I experienced a terrible impact, even life-altering, but subjectively I try not to think of it. I guess that's avoidance, Idk.

ETA I have found the best way triggers lose their power is by realizing not only their context and why they're there but affording myself some acknowledgment of what I felt at the time. I noticed that today with a song I hate which used to always make me cry despite myself. And feel hopeless. I knew where the song came from, that didn't lessen how I felt. I got better at ignoring it. Today some of the words clicked with me, and I realized it described where I was, what was in front of me, and my powerlessness. The trigger wasn't the song exactly, or where it came from entirely, it was that but mostly the statement of what I/others lived in a few of the words I always blocked out. But it reminded me of just how bad it was, and I actually found some solace today in the words that didn't minimize it, they were applicable.

Hope that makes sense. I hope you are feeling better than before. One useful thing about triggers is they give us opportunity to figure out what's behind them.
 
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Hatchling

New Here
hello hatchling. welcome to the forum.

i used to get uncontrollably angry over animal neglect and abuse. i have been guilty of abusing more than one pet owner on this score. alas, those efforts were thoroughly counter-productive and the toll they took on me, both physical and psychic, was even more counter-productive.

i still get quite emotional on the subject, but have learned how to channel my anger before i attempt to do anything about the situation at hand.

for what it's worth
i now believe that my extreme reactions were more projection than reality. my time with animals was the only place where i felt safe to even have emotions, so an entire bevy of bottled emotions exploded to the surface with this particular trigger.
wow, arfie. the last few lines you wrote were so revealing!! Thank you so much for your insight

i think for me it comes to knowing they are defenseless and need/ deserve to be cared for. I have one memory that haunted me for a long time, but I have found both lies and truth in triggers. Sometimes I've leveled too much blame, or the wrong kind of blame at myself. Other times it is because I have not acted, and am pained not just at their suffering but at myself being powerless to prevent it, or not acting to prevent it. There's something inherently wrong with the action or justification of animal/ human cruelty, and I think that evokes fear +/or anger in most people.

But I have found a pattern too where I don't feel the justifiable anger or blame I should to people who have done such things to myself or my people or animals (in my world). I think it's the sheer fear of facing what that could mean, and also maybe minimizing traumas. Objectively I could say if I'm being honest I know I experienced a terrible impact, even life-altering, but subjectively I try not to think of it. I guess that's avoidance, Idk.

ETA I have found the best way triggers lose their power is by realizing not only their context and why they're there but affording myself some acknowledgment of what I felt at the time. I noticed that today with a song I hate which used to always make me cry despite myself. And feel hopeless. I knew where the song came from, that didn't lessen how I felt. I got better at ignoring it. Today some of the words clicked with me, and I realized it described where I was, what was in front of me, and my powerlessness. The trigger wasn't the song exactly, or where it came from entirely, it was that but mostly the statement of what I/others lived in a few of the words I always blocked out. But it reminded me of just how bad it was, and I actually found some solace today in the words that didn't minimize it, they were applicable.

Hope that makes sense. I hope you are feeling better than before. One useful thing about triggers is they give us opportunity to figure out what's behind them.
I am with you on the 'don't feel the justifiable anger or blame I should to people who have done such things to myself' deal. I believe it is far more traumatic to witness something awful (and feel helpless to assist) than it is to experience it (and know you have some inner power to cope with it.) Maybe I should not say 'believe' but 'my reality is....'
I am grateful you wrote all that you did. Thank you.

This is also *immensely* triggering for me. Moreso than anything I ever have to deal with.
yep. I have many different traumas and some triggers that send me to a dark pit. But animal abuse... now THERE is the big one. The trigger that, if it went away , I would feel my other 'horrible triggers' would be a piece of cake!
 
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