I never had an Anniversary come up before. Especially where I knew what it was about. This is the first time that it's happened to me. It's all relating to what happened to me, rape by my ex. Remember everything so clearly and I remember sitting down listening to music and I remember my heart beating so fast, that I thought it was going to come out of my chest. Ended up sitting down and telling my mother, I whispered it to her and she kept holding my hand. The entire time I wanted to cry, but I felt like I wasn't there. That I was somewhere else and I couldn't react or say anything. Just sat there in silence until my anxiety calmed down. Memories keep coming to me and I wish they would stop. Good thing music is helping me stay relaxed. Anytime I put on music, I feel calm and relaxed because I feel safe simply just by listening to it. The whole thing was scary to me, but I didn't feel like I was actually there. I'm sure others have felt like this too.