I have complex ptsd and anorexia and depression and anxiety. my anorexia is in a big spiral right now which my therapist warned me about with it coming up to all painful anniversaries and i was already struggling now i don't want to stop losing weight and i just lost and my nutritionist told me i can't lose anymore weight i have lost too much and am too low a weight which i don't know the number from her but i have a scale and it is not near my lowest so i don't see the problem. i feel i control this even though i know i am out of control its like i can't stop right now like i need to restrict i need to starve. i have been self harming too but i stopped for two weeks but restricted more in that time so its like i switched behaviors. anorexia is really so hard sometimes i feel like shit a lot of the time like i am going to pass out and i am scared it will happen at work and i work in a daycare and i try to eat there to make no one know. people comment on my size a lot but i let it go i am thin but not too thin to look sickly i don't think....i am seeing my nutritionist next week but then i have a couple vacations so i won't see her for 3 weeks i see that as open game to lose. i hate this sometimes its so difficult. i have been inpatient numerous times and in psych wards and what not but i am scared i am going to be forced to treatment...i just wish i could stop...