Another night of dreaming overseas?

Calmingpeace

Not Active
You all I keep having my reacurrent dreams that I’m in the massage parlor again -how when I was about to have a couples massage at first and then out of no where I can’t find my husband and there are three men and the lady asks me to take off my clothes I get nervous throw up on the men and start having a major panic attack because I’m in a foreign country with no help I calmed down a bit but out of the corner of my eye I’m viewing young girls get raped and I just can’t take it.

After that my spouse appears out of no where and I tell him we need to go to the US embassy, but he replied we couldn’t because it could effect his citizenship.

He then tells me that it’s okay and we’ll travel to this town so that things will be okay. At this point I’m scared for my life and the powerful people that he knows, so I follow him and we go to this town called Palomino. In that island i got separated from him once again and I saw a boat with cartel material in it and it terrified me to the point I got numb. So I finally find my spouse and I tell him I need to leave I’m not feeling well. I insisted and then we finally left.

Short story is that I pushed this trauma so deep In because I alone was so isolated from my family or friends and I didn’t know who to trust or if I would get into trouble about this knowledge. So I pushed it down to stay in the Christian marriage.

What brought up these feelings back up is the picture of a child porn that I found on my husbands phone. It was of two girls who one was 9 and the other looked to be around 16. I became disgusted about it. And left the house with our child. I then get arrested because he took a photo of me having one of my moments of remembering the event.

Is there any remedies to help with the experience I had oversees?

Also, is there a way I could protect my children from this type of future events. So that they don’t experience what I went through?

**They are not dreams they are my nightmares from what had happened
 
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arfie

MyPTSD Pro
hello calming. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

reading about your dream reminded me mightily of the *benefits* i attain from keeping secrets. i consider repressing memories to be a form of keeping secrets. inside my own skin, repressed memories are among the lies i tell myself. the meanest lies in the world are the ones i tell myself. i am forever losing myself and other people when i keep secrets. worse, keeping secrets requires me to remember 2 versions of everything: 1) the truth and 2) the coverup.

but that is me and every case is unique.
gentle support while you sort your own case.
welcome aboard.
 

Friday

Moderator
I see you’re inactive right now, so don’t know if you’ll ever read this reply, but if you’ve returned and are reading it now?

Am I correct in understanding that you thought the establishment you went to was a massage spa/parlor/etc. but you were actually in an underage brothel &/or sex club? So once you entered you & your husband were split up, each to be serviced separately, and it wasn’t until you freaked out and threw up that your husband was brought back to you, and the 2 of you left?
 
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