Calmdown
Bronze Member
I have been struggling for years to find a therapist.
Today, I had another therapy appointment. At first, there were some positive aspects: she encouraged me to talk as much as I could and wanted to, acknowledged my inner tension, and took everything I shared seriously. She even brought up the topic of C-PTSD (I don’t have a formal diagnosis).
However, things quickly took a strange turn. She started talking in detail about traumatic events from two different patients, things that could have easily triggered me. She mentioned multiple times that she had no issues with confrontation and that she just did a confrontation before my session. Maybe she needed to prove something to herself, I don’t know, but it felt almost aggressive, and definitely lacked empathy.
She then told me that patients must be able to verbalize their trauma during therapy, otherwise, it’s impossible to work with them.
At one point, I brought up “attachment/holding therapy” (Prekop) as a minor example of a bad experience from my childhood. She kept asking repeatedly what it involved, and I ended up raising my voice, almost shouting because she just wouldn’t stop. She didn’t seem to notice how her questions were triggering me. This was the first time I’ve ever gotten that loud during a therapy session. It made me realize two things:
1. She lacks the necessary empathy.
2. “Attachment/holding therapy” isn’t a minor issue for me after all.
In the end, she suggested I go to a trauma clinic. I had to ask her multiple times whether she would take me on as a patient. After asking six or seven times, she finally said no but added that I could contact her again after going to a clinic. I asked why we couldn’t focus on “stabilization,” especially since most clinics won’t accept me without an established therapist. She responded that trauma therapy is mostly about confrontation and processing, showing no interest in stabilization at all. From what I’ve read, stabilization is supposed to be the most important part, and confrontation should never be forced.
I noticed how strange she was, somehow giggly and the way she said goodbye felt bizarre and completely inappropriate given the situation.
At least I walked away with a suspected diagnosis: F62.0 - Enduring personality change after catastrophic experience. I guess it’s an over-exaggeration, but at least I can show it to the next therapist and my psychiatrist.
It is frightening that there are supposed “trauma therapists” that see this form of therapy only as confronting in the hardest way and getting done with it. This is so wrong for several reasons. These are butchers and not therapists.
Some therapists take my problems too serious and others not serious at all. If I get taken serious they don't offer me therapy. If I don't get taken serious they talk about depression and anxiety which is not helpful at all for me.
I just see no clear way to move forward. The clinic I found requires a trauma diagnosis, which I don’t have, and I also can’t find a place for psychotherapy. This situation just is impossible and all therapists seem to be crazy or overwhelmed with their work.
Today, I had another therapy appointment. At first, there were some positive aspects: she encouraged me to talk as much as I could and wanted to, acknowledged my inner tension, and took everything I shared seriously. She even brought up the topic of C-PTSD (I don’t have a formal diagnosis).
However, things quickly took a strange turn. She started talking in detail about traumatic events from two different patients, things that could have easily triggered me. She mentioned multiple times that she had no issues with confrontation and that she just did a confrontation before my session. Maybe she needed to prove something to herself, I don’t know, but it felt almost aggressive, and definitely lacked empathy.
She then told me that patients must be able to verbalize their trauma during therapy, otherwise, it’s impossible to work with them.
At one point, I brought up “attachment/holding therapy” (Prekop) as a minor example of a bad experience from my childhood. She kept asking repeatedly what it involved, and I ended up raising my voice, almost shouting because she just wouldn’t stop. She didn’t seem to notice how her questions were triggering me. This was the first time I’ve ever gotten that loud during a therapy session. It made me realize two things:
1. She lacks the necessary empathy.
2. “Attachment/holding therapy” isn’t a minor issue for me after all.
In the end, she suggested I go to a trauma clinic. I had to ask her multiple times whether she would take me on as a patient. After asking six or seven times, she finally said no but added that I could contact her again after going to a clinic. I asked why we couldn’t focus on “stabilization,” especially since most clinics won’t accept me without an established therapist. She responded that trauma therapy is mostly about confrontation and processing, showing no interest in stabilization at all. From what I’ve read, stabilization is supposed to be the most important part, and confrontation should never be forced.
I noticed how strange she was, somehow giggly and the way she said goodbye felt bizarre and completely inappropriate given the situation.
At least I walked away with a suspected diagnosis: F62.0 - Enduring personality change after catastrophic experience. I guess it’s an over-exaggeration, but at least I can show it to the next therapist and my psychiatrist.
It is frightening that there are supposed “trauma therapists” that see this form of therapy only as confronting in the hardest way and getting done with it. This is so wrong for several reasons. These are butchers and not therapists.
Some therapists take my problems too serious and others not serious at all. If I get taken serious they don't offer me therapy. If I don't get taken serious they talk about depression and anxiety which is not helpful at all for me.
I just see no clear way to move forward. The clinic I found requires a trauma diagnosis, which I don’t have, and I also can’t find a place for psychotherapy. This situation just is impossible and all therapists seem to be crazy or overwhelmed with their work.