Anti-depressants/colors, positives?

Skywatcher

MyPTSD Pro
The last time I tried anti-depressants was a few years ago. Zoloft-sick, Wellbutrin—hypertension&anxiety, Prozac-tongue swell, Cymbalta-acid trip effect. The solution was trileptal which works decently, and Xanax as needed.

Lately, I’ve been getting waves of depression that get significantly worse around my cycle. PMDD has always been a thing for me, but it has really ramped up. Trying Celexa, now. I’m really sensitive to these meds, so I started with 10 mg.

Feeling sickish. A little panic. However, like every antidepressant I have tried... colors seem more vivid. Is this a thing? Is it worth staying the course if that ends up being the only positive? The rest of my mood is the same or worse and I hate this reflux sick feeling.
 

Sideways

Sponsor
The rest of my mood is the same or worse
For me personally? Mood stability is a totally awesome, worthy goal. Mood instability is the absolute pits. Even when the really deep lows are intermittent, I personally find that maintaining a dysthymic baseline is easier to coexist with than intermittent deep depressions.

But that's a very individual thing. Something that probably only you can answer. If this medication is stabilising your mood, albeit at a dysthymic level, is that better or not than periods of deep depressions for you?
I hate this reflux sick feeling.
There's both over-the-counter and prescription medication for GORD that will probably help immensely with this side-effect, and is very mild, if you decide to stick with this medication. It may be worth considering, since yeah, daily reflux sickness is really crappy. All by itself it can put downward pressure on your mood if it becomes a regular thing for a period of hours each day.
 

Skywatcher

MyPTSD Pro
I think that I’m not going to continue with it. The constant nausea is too much to take in addition to some bizarre thoughts I had today. I’d rather leave before my body becomes too entangled with it. My p-doc is so set in what he will or won’t prescribe. I’m on a year long waiting list for the p-doc I want to try. I think that I’ll just do maintenance and power through the depression stuff. Make more effort to make myself do the outside tools even if it’s dark when I get done with work. I’ll eat better too and sleep. Maybe this medication trial is a wake up call. I really just don’t want another med.
 

Friday

Moderator
Feeling sickish. A little panic. However, like every antidepressant I have tried... colors seem more vivid. Is this a thing?
Pretty much anything can be a thing with meds that affect your brain BUT...

...color fleeing from the world is an age old sign of grief, sadness, melancholy, etc. Whilst color returning to the world is a sign of those things lifting, and the world exploding in color / colors seemed brighter, details sharper... a sign of joy or being in love. It always cracks me up when people I know are experiencing those things for the first time... who thought those descriptions (as well as heartbreak and others) were just literary devices. Nope. Colors actually dull in grief and despair, hearts actually feel broken, and the heights of dizzying wonder that colors and scents archive when you’re newly in love or beset with joy? Are indescribable, except in context; Ahhhhh. You, my friend, are in love. I’ve often wondered if the gradual shifting of the world to black & white in grief/despair is a different version of fight/flight than we’ve studied. As we these movement (danger, prey) far easier, and can act faster, so it would parse that it’s a kind of survival mode kicking on, or revving up, in response to pain/loss/etc. But I’ve never read anything on it, just wondered about it. Colour v. Dullness/Darkness however, is an ancient barometer.

Since colors have been more vivid with every antidepressant you’ve tried? I would suspect it’s less a side effect of the meds, and more a sign of your depression lifting.
 
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Skywatcher

MyPTSD Pro
Pretty much anything can be a thing with meds that affect your brain BUT...

...color fleeing from the world is an age old sign of grief, sadness, melancholy, etc. Whilst color returning to the world is a sign of those things lifting, and the world exploding in color / colors seemed brighter, details sharper... a sign of joy or being in love. It always cracks me up when people I know are experiencing those things for the first time... who thought those descriptions (as well as heartbreak and others) were just literary devices. Nope. Colors actually dull in grief and despair, hearts actually feel broken, and the heights of dizzying wonder that colors and scents archive when you’re newly in love or beset with joy? Are indescribable, except in context; Ahhhhh. You, my friend, are in love. I’ve often wondered if the gradual shifting of the world to black & white in grief/despair is a different version of fight/flight than we’ve studied. As we these movement (danger, prey) far easier, and can act faster, so it would parse that it’s a kind of survival mode kicking on, or revving up, in response to pain/loss/etc. But I’ve never read anything on it, just wondered about it. Colour v. Dullness/Darkness however, is an ancient barometer.

Since colors have been more vivid with every antidepressant you’ve tried? I would suspect it’s less a side effect of the meds, and more a sign of your depression lifting.
Yet it always happens on day 1. I doubt it’s a placebo effect because I don’t even think about it and seem to pause and go, “hmm, that’s interesting.”

My p-doc would say there is no way this stuff can happen so fast. Yet, it does. The most intense experience was on Cymbalta. The world became so beautiful that I didn’t want to do anything (aka: work). I just wanted to explore all of the prettiness around me. That one ended up making me “hurl sick” right after lunch.

Despite all of the vivid colors, it’s not worth the sick, even if it is temporary.
 
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