Anxiety at doctor

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
So...I have had this problem for awhile. At the doctor - and really, after I make my appointment to go - I have an incredible amount of anxiety. It comes from never being listened to or taken seriously and from being harmed multiple times by both medical doctors and psychologists/psychiatrists from the time I was in high school. I hate to go to the doctor because I am terrified s/he will do something to hurt me.

Problem is, my blood pressure is always high when I go. It's not in-between; I have taken it multiple times over several months and it's never high. I have provided "proof" to my last doctor and this new one and I did again today. He agreed it wasn't high, but wanted me to take the BP medicine anyway. The diagnosis he gave me was "white coat syndrome" hypertension, which just means that when I go into the office, my BP is high, but not at other times.

I am sooo mad. Because I had really hoped this doctor would be different. And because I don't want to take medicine that I don't need.

Another issue I have is this feeling that if I have high BP or high cholesterol, or diabetes, I am an inherently bad person. And they are all my fault. I can't shake it and it makes going to the doctor for issues I actually do have nearly impossible.

Anybody else?
 

FauxLiz

Sponsor
Just because he prescribes doesn't mean you have to fill the prescription or take the medication. I have disagreed with my doctors medical and psychiatric in the past and when they wrote prescriptions or called them in I didn't fill/pick them up. The doctor can't force you to take the meds and though he seems to agree that the only thing causing the high blood pressure is a commonly known issue with doctor's appointments that didn't stop him from writing the prescription to cover his rear. Go with you gut and don't take the meds.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Just because he prescribes doesn't mean you have to fill the prescription or take the medication. I have disagreed with my doctors medical and psychiatric in the past and when they wrote prescriptions or called them in I didn't fill/pick them up. The doctor can't force you to take the meds and though he seems to agree that the only thing causing the high blood pressure is a commonly known issue with doctor's appointments that didn't stop him from writing the prescription to cover his rear. Go with you gut and don't take the meds.

Yeah, I know this and generally agree. I think my worry is that if I don't comply, he won't see me again. I've been through multiple doctors and the last one refused to see me because I wouldn't have a test done she ordered. Being expected to comply is part of the trigger, but I don't know how to get around the fear of being abandoned by him.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
So...I didn't get the meds. As it turns out, I have 0.00 in my account until next Friday, so I couldn't even if I had wanted to. It's just one thing on top of another.
 

kkd

New Here
I think I am in a similar situations sometimes. I expect that medical professionals will dismiss physical stuff that's legitimately causing me issues, including issues affecting work, and when they ask about stress in my life and glom onto that it feels like yet again it's just "all in my head" or I'm being dramatic. I get weird anxiety and resentment upon making the appt (it feels like caving in to something; I have done things like work for 3 months with a f*cked up shoulder muscle or worked 10 hr shifts through flus and migraines with a bucket handy just in case), am shit at explaining myself to the dr so they don't hear what I'm saying, and I usually get fluatered if it looks like they are misconstruing me OR like they are genuinely interested, and then i clam up.

And when they press about stress or dig for "depression" or "anxiety" to blame things on, I feel like I'm being interrogated or my words are being twisted (to make it chemical/personal instead of situational). So then I minimize or shut up or get weirded out and just let them say and prescribe whatever and then avoid ever dealing with them again. I really hate the "screen for mental shit every time" initiative because it's hard NOT to accidentally "test positive" and they don't seem to respond well when you try to opt out.

Turmeric and deep damn breathing or taking a walk doesn't get my work problems that are stressing me out fixed, I just wanted to refill migraine rx and make sure it wasn't potentially nutrition or neurological because I hadn't had this many in a month.

And I'm not taking something daily for Reasons and I SO understand the "comply or else" part being a problem. Hell, I am having a hard time mustering the whatever to make a routine dental appt because the stupid reminder texts and emails push that same button. "You should get seen" followed by going and then getting "yeah, no biggie it either cannot be so bad and you're a wuss, or you're just anxious/depressed constitutionally" is not helpful to me. f*ckING LISTEN or I just shouldn't bother, and I generally come down on "don't bother."

I have a couple of things that are pretty constant but I just can't picture actually bothering to see a dr about. One is fairly visible when it happens and it freaks my spouse out (and it DOES get worse with stress but it happens no matter how laid back and easy life is at the time), the other is just draining, inconvenient and means i am often in some kind of pain. And then there's the migraines that also get worse w stress but happen out of the blue too.

I'd tell others to get checked out but it seems like just asking to get slapped with "hypochondriac" label or worse. If the visible one gets bad some day I might lose my driving license but I probably won't know for sure what it is til then because the one time I raised the issue after the one Big One it was tested VERY perfunctorily, I received a giant shrug from the consultant, and the matter was dropped.

The whole "be nice to yourself" and seeing a dr as self-care is just so freaking fraught sometimes. I had somewhat better but WEIRD experience w/physiotherapy a few yrs back where the therapist's interest and questions helped (she clearly heard what i said, not what she hoped it would mean) and she treated for my actual problem and goals. I left many of those appts feeling really weird and fuzzy and my physical issue did actually improve, but there were instances i found myself nearly crying or extremely angry mid-PT session and I think the weirdness of "if she can actually listen and take me seriously why couldn't they?" was a main part of it.

Shutting up now.
 

woodsy1

Confident
So...I have had this problem for awhile. At the doctor - and really, after I make my appointment to go - I have an incredible amount of anxiety. It comes from never being listened to or taken seriously and from being harmed multiple times by both medical doctors and psychologists/psychiatrists from the time I was in high school. I hate to go to the doctor because I am terrified s/he will do something to hurt me.

Problem is, my blood pressure is always high when I go. It's not in-between; I have taken it multiple times over several months and it's never high. I have provided "proof" to my last doctor and this new one and I did again today. He agreed it wasn't high, but wanted me to take the BP medicine anyway. The diagnosis he gave me was "white coat syndrome" hypertension, which just means that when I go into the office, my BP is high, but not at other times.

I am sooo mad. Because I had really hoped this doctor would be different. And because I don't want to take medicine that I don't need.

Another issue I have is this feeling that if I have high BP or high cholesterol, or diabetes, I am an inherently bad person. And they are all my fault. I can't shake it and it makes going to the doctor for issues I actually do have nearly impossible.

Anybody else?
Hello @whiteraven,
As I was reading your post, I was thinking "white coat syndrome." Then you wrote that your doctor said it. I chuckled. My mom has the same thing.

Doctors are a funny lot. I've experienced what you are experiencing. I finally adopted a, "it's MY body" attitude. They can Rx what ever they want. I can take it or not. Choice is mine.

I try to take as few meds as I can. Some I pretty much have to take unless I want to suffer misery, like my thyroid medication. Even then I take a natural instead of synthetic.

Anyhow, doctor anxiety sucks. What cured mine is finally deciding that doctors just give me their educated opinion. I can take it or leave it.

I hope you find a solution that works for you.

Woodsy
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
@kkd - yes, I can very definitely relate to much of what you said. Sorry you are dealing with it, too.

Doctors are a funny lot. I've experienced what you are experiencing. I finally adopted a, "it's MY body" attitude. They can Rx what ever they want. I can take it or not. Choice is mine.
Yeah, I am there now. Thank goodness.
Anyhow, doctor anxiety sucks. What cured mine is finally deciding that doctors just give me their educated opinion. I can take it or leave it.
I read an article today that there is some evidence discovered among quantum physicists that there is no such thing as an "objective opinion" because everyone perceives reality in a different way. I have been saying similar for over a year now. Mine is "everything is a theory or opinion." So I go to the doctor now if I'm sick and I research the hell out of everything s/he tells me.
 

woodsy1

Confident
@kkd - yes, I can very definitely relate to much of what you said. Sorry you are dealing with it, too.


Yeah, I am there now. Thank goodness.

I read an article today that there is some evidence discovered among quantum physicists that there is no such thing as an "objective opinion" because everyone perceives reality in a different way. I have been saying similar for over a year now. Mine is "everything is a theory or opinion." So I go to the doctor now if I'm sick and I research the hell out of everything s/he tells me.
Yes! I always research the crap out of things before going to see any doctor...and after. In a few scenarios I've ended up teaching docs a thing or two. Lol. They must hate us smart Alec's!!!
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
So...I have had this problem for awhile. At the doctor - and really, after I make my appointment to go - I have an incredible amount of anxiety. It comes from never being listened to or taken seriously and from being harmed multiple times by both medical doctors and psychologists/psychiatrists from the time I was in high school. I hate to go to the doctor because I am terrified s/he will do something to hurt me.

Problem is, my blood pressure is always high when I go. It's not in-between; I have taken it multiple times over several months and it's never high. I have provided "proof" to my last doctor and this new one and I did again today. He agreed it wasn't high, but wanted me to take the BP medicine anyway. The diagnosis he gave me was "white coat syndrome" hypertension, which just means that when I go into the office, my BP is high, but not at other times.

I am sooo mad. Because I had really hoped this doctor would be different. And because I don't want to take medicine that I don't need.

Another issue I have is this feeling that if I have high BP or high cholesterol, or diabetes, I am an inherently bad person. And they are all my fault. I can't shake it and it makes going to the doctor for issues I actually do have nearly impossible.

Anybody else?
hi @whiteraven, yep same here I was terrified of going to the docters. I wasn't listened too and some docters literally abused me. I'm not going to go into details but it was horrendous. I feel for you, your not alone. It's only now for me that after making serious complaints about them that they're changing their attitude towards me and finally treating me with respect. Best wishes to you. 😊
 
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