anxiety dreams

kiwibird

New Here
In the last year or so I have had recurring dreams about being away from home, usually on a group trip of some kind. The day we are meant to leave, everyone else has been packing their things, and I have left it to the last minute and am in danger of being left behind because I can't pack in time. Sometimes they do leave without me.
These aren't my worst dreams - I do have CPTSD and when I scream or moan in the night the first thing my partner asks me in the morning is whether I had another nightmare about my dad. I have had nightmares about him nearly all my life, although not for a while now. So please don't assume I don't belong here if the dreams I'm asking about here don't sound that bad. I'm just wondering if other people have this dream. I lead a very quiet life and I wonder if the dreams mean that I have been taking time out (for a lot of years) to recover from PTSD etc. but I'm in danger of missing my life.
 

Friday

Moderator
I have 3 basic kinds of nightmares

- Total fiction
- Blend of fiction & reality (too much nightmare fuel)
- Total reality (essentially flashbacks)

For me, the dream you described would directly tie into my trauma... although my blend of fiction/reality versions can get weird as hell, and it’s not until I synopsis them into English that “Oh, it’s another ‘can’t find / dont have’ dream, or another ‘left behind’ dream. Check check.

But yeah... I have totally fictitious nightmares, with zip zero nada zilch any kind of tie in to my trauma history... that can leave me drenched in sweat, having an anxiety attack, having a panic attack, or “just” mindf*cked until I can shake it off. Nothing weird about that, far as I know.
 

kiwibird

New Here
I have also had a lot of dreams over the years about exams I am totally unprepared for and overdue library books. I'm sure these are fairly common dreams, but I think having them often is still a sign of generalised anxiety. And I wake up still feeling like I have to sort out the problem, until I realise I escaped it by waking up.
Friday, when you say the dream would tie into your trauma, do you mean you were left behind? Of course, only answer if you want to.
 

Friday

Moderator
Friday, when you say the dream would tie into your trauma, do you mean you were left behind?
Yep. I was left to die. That it comes to be expected, that I didn’t die, or that I spent the next several years trying my damndest to get myself killed? One might think would take the sting off. It does in some ways. Not so much in others. I’ve also left others to die. Given the choice, I prefer to be the one left for dead, rather than the one doing the leaving. It hurts less. And is a helluva lot easier to feel alive, after. <<< It’s one reason why in normal life? I reeeeeeally have to hardline ‘You can only abandon kids & pets. Everyone else can take care of themselves.’ Because where my head & heart goes isn’t normal life.

Not being able to find what I need, when I need it? Is entirely about others. If I don’t know where my shit is? Other people are going to die, and it’s going to be my fault. It comes out in all kinds of weird ways, in both my waking life, & sleep. I’ve spent whole dreams essentially surrounded by Armageddon stopping the “plot” to try find a bra that will fit, or my shoes. The end of the world a faaaaaar distant second to this insane need to stop in every shop/house/bin. IRL? It also means I wear a bra to bed and go around barefoot as much as humanly possible. Like I said, weird. But I’ve had both those nightmares so often that a small part of me is convinced that as long as I have a bra on? The world can’t end. Meanwhile the only reason for footwear? Is survival. So I usually have a pretty badass shoe collection... that I almost never wear. But I also carry a pair of flip flops & ballet shoes in my messenger bag. Not because I wear heels, often. Because I’ve hiked hundreds of miles in nothing but flip flops, and both are slim/portable. And yet? NEITHER shoes/bra have ever featured in my trauma history. They’re just this substitution for medical supplies &/or ammunition that my brain makes when I’m sleeping.
 

kiwibird

New Here
Thanks for explaining. Perhaps looking for a bra that fits in your dreams means that, while your focus seems to be on survival, what you need most is something more intimate - something close to your heart and soft. Perhaps it means that your soul needs gentle healing. The shoes don't fit the theory as easily, but shoes are to protect your feet from being hurt, so maybe you need a bit more inbuilt protection to face the world with.
 
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