Anxiety, hyper vigilance, fear, oh my

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Kopykat

MyPTSD Pro
I had thought I’d been doing ok the last week or so...well ok for me. Last year around this time I was in the psych unit for attempted suicide after I was attacked at work and work just kept making things worse. I didn’t think much of the time of year or of my psych visit anniversary. I’m still recovering from my injury and in PT Friday something went amiss and I started having more pain again like I did when I was first attacked, all weekend and yesterday and today. Now I feel my anxiety has kicked up and I am starting to have a lot of anxiety and fear of being attacked or being in an accident to the point I don’t even want to leave the house. I just snapped all of a sudden from being ok to not feeling safe at all. I think I can logically talk myself through it as to why it’s happening but my body and mind are t listening and don’t care, feel really tense, emotional, like I need to be on guard. I canceled therapy today bc that didn’t even feel safe. This sucks and I guess I just needed to vent.
 

Freida

Sponsor
All hail the Anniversary reaction. I just had one of those (and a huge vent that went along with it!) Think about how hard last year was and how much you had to overcome. Then be proud of yourself for recognizing you are in trouble and reaching out for help. Can you do a phone or skype therapy session today? Talking with your T might help get you in a calmer space.

And remember...deep breathe..this will pass... its a reaction to a trauma, not a new trauma.... You can do this...deep breath
 

Kopykat

MyPTSD Pro
@Freida i tried asking my T for such and she just sent an email. She didn’t seem happy I canceled which I guess makes sense. I feel a little better today but still feel anxious and just thinking about a lot of stuff. I think if I wasn’t still in pain physically from the injury last year I may have an easier time but I’m not sure. That in itself has brought its own set of challenges bc I’m impatient to get better and angry bc I won’t be the same as before.
 

Freida

Sponsor
Shes probably worried about you - and figures you were overwhelmed and that's why you cancelled.

I’m impatient to get better
yea - good luck with that! :playful: It will take as long as it takes Disclaimer -- I still get frustrated when I get told that! Hopefully you are smarter than me.

angry bc I won’t be the same as before.
and that sucks. I'm sorry. You will need to re-invent yourself. But that journey can be interesting....
 

Kopykat

MyPTSD Pro
@Freida part of me wants to just saw off my arm and shoulder and get a bionic one, I’m sure the government has some sort of robocop program we don’t know about.
 
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