Mach123
MyPTSD Pro
I have an awful time with the self critic. It’s more than that and over 40 years I’ve gotten a tiny bit of control over it. I just understood finally the pain I was feeling was all centered in thoughts about “that’s wrong or bad.” Which means I’m wrong or bad. All those thoughts are actually feelings and they aren’t good.
The problem with that is, feeling bad was the only motivation I ever had, the only reason I ever did anything. If feel good I won’t do anything, (I do the housework no problem and cook and stuff) and on top of that, for awhile I drank too much and I just told myself it was fine. Hangovers were fine, not “bad”. (and all the other stuff about drinking as a hobby or nightly medicine)
So I hope you feel better, pot helps me with anxiety, which is weird because it’s usually seen as anxiety producing. I’m not on anything else, and I don’t drink anymore. To meditate, which for me means get quiet and fall asleep, I just look for feelings about things being wrong or that have to be fixed, or me being bad or wrong. When I “get it” I feel good, and I fall asleep.
The problem with that is, feeling bad was the only motivation I ever had, the only reason I ever did anything. If feel good I won’t do anything, (I do the housework no problem and cook and stuff) and on top of that, for awhile I drank too much and I just told myself it was fine. Hangovers were fine, not “bad”. (and all the other stuff about drinking as a hobby or nightly medicine)
So I hope you feel better, pot helps me with anxiety, which is weird because it’s usually seen as anxiety producing. I’m not on anything else, and I don’t drink anymore. To meditate, which for me means get quiet and fall asleep, I just look for feelings about things being wrong or that have to be fixed, or me being bad or wrong. When I “get it” I feel good, and I fall asleep.