I've been thinking about getting back to work. The Easter vacation has just started, so teaching doesn't get going again until the 24th. I'm wondering if I'll be ok to go back in a couple of weeks. Trouble is, I'm unsure of my motivations to return to work.
On the one hand, it would reduce financial worries, get my managers off my back and give me more freedom (I live on campus and my movements are restricted at the moment - apparently it's not fair for my colleagues to see me out and about when they are having to cover my lessons). I would get more social contact, as I'm very isolated at the moment. I would be doing something useful.
On the other hand, I am desperate to do something to try and take my mind of my nightmares etc, so maybe it's an avoidance issue. Also, I'm still hardly sleeping (although still fitting in the nightmares - how unfair is that!), feeling sick a lot of the time and tired also.
I don't want to go back full-time as I'm no way ready for that - the thought scares me. My employer has previously said that my return to work would be phased - 2 weeks part-time, then back to full-time. I don't think that is workable. If I go back, I want to be back part-time for as long as I need to be to take care of myself.
Also, at the back of my mind - ok, at the front really - is an experience from my last major problems with this in 2001. I went back part-time for a few weeks, then back full-time. All the problems came right back and I nearly did myself in (just luck that I made it - I got disturbed). Terrified of being in that situation again. It took 3 years before I was ready to get back into a job - this is the job I do now. I like teaching and I really don't want to have to leave, but the longer I stay off, the harder it's going to be to get back - even if my employer shows some patience with me.
Not really sure what to do. Any suggestions or advice is very welcome. Obviously, I will be discussing things with my Dr, but there's only so much you can talk about in a 5 minute appointment, and it's usually "have more pills, here's a new sick note, call me before you jump off a bridge" kind of thing.
Hope you are all having a peaceful weekend. We have a typical spring day here - wind, sun, rain, sleet and hail pretty much in the space of a couple of hours. Love the British weather! :rolleyes:
On the one hand, it would reduce financial worries, get my managers off my back and give me more freedom (I live on campus and my movements are restricted at the moment - apparently it's not fair for my colleagues to see me out and about when they are having to cover my lessons). I would get more social contact, as I'm very isolated at the moment. I would be doing something useful.
On the other hand, I am desperate to do something to try and take my mind of my nightmares etc, so maybe it's an avoidance issue. Also, I'm still hardly sleeping (although still fitting in the nightmares - how unfair is that!), feeling sick a lot of the time and tired also.
I don't want to go back full-time as I'm no way ready for that - the thought scares me. My employer has previously said that my return to work would be phased - 2 weeks part-time, then back to full-time. I don't think that is workable. If I go back, I want to be back part-time for as long as I need to be to take care of myself.
Also, at the back of my mind - ok, at the front really - is an experience from my last major problems with this in 2001. I went back part-time for a few weeks, then back full-time. All the problems came right back and I nearly did myself in (just luck that I made it - I got disturbed). Terrified of being in that situation again. It took 3 years before I was ready to get back into a job - this is the job I do now. I like teaching and I really don't want to have to leave, but the longer I stay off, the harder it's going to be to get back - even if my employer shows some patience with me.
Not really sure what to do. Any suggestions or advice is very welcome. Obviously, I will be discussing things with my Dr, but there's only so much you can talk about in a 5 minute appointment, and it's usually "have more pills, here's a new sick note, call me before you jump off a bridge" kind of thing.
Hope you are all having a peaceful weekend. We have a typical spring day here - wind, sun, rain, sleet and hail pretty much in the space of a couple of hours. Love the British weather! :rolleyes: